Balancing Business and Marriage: Practical Insights for Christian Entrepreneurs

EP 141 - Balancing Business and Marriage: Practical Insights for Christian Entrepreneurs

[00:00:00]

Introduction: Balancing Business and Marriage

Do you ever feel like your business has taken over your marriage? Like there's no time left for date nights or even normal conversations with your spouse. Well today, we'll be digging into practical ways to balance your entrepreneurial pursuits. And your relationships. Listen, folks get ready for some hard truths. Biblical insights and actionable steps towards harmony. I will even share a very personal story about how this significantly impacted my life. And my marriage later on in the show.

Welcome to Ask Ralph Podcast

Welcome to the Ask Ralph Podcast, where listening to an experienced financial professional with over 30 years of experience can help you make sense of confusing questions, current headlines, and industry trends about taxes, small business, financial decision making, investment strategies, and even the art of proper budgeting.

Ask Ralph makes the complex simple by sharing his real world knowledge from a Christian perspective with [00:01:00] all things financial. Now here's your host, Ralph Estep, Jr.

Monday Motivation: Financial Wisdom from a Christian Perspective

Welcome to our Monday motivational show. I'm so glad you chose to join us. I just want to thank you for listening and supporting the program. I'm coming to you from the Estep Farm at the Saggio Accounting studio . Let me put on my podcaster hat put down those overalls and push that adding machine to the side. And let's get into some financial wisdom from a Christian perspective.

Balancing Entrepreneurship with Family Life

Today, we're tackling a big issue for many Christian entrepreneurs and small business owners. This is a tough one folks. And that's. How do you balance growing your business while still devoting time to nourish your marriage and your family?

 Don't forget to subscribe to the show and join our email list. You do that at askralphpodcast.com . So you don't miss tomorrow. Show. Tomorrow, I'm going to be talking about making your devices more accessible. We're going to talk about some accessibility options to make your life [00:02:00] easier and simpler. It's an episode you don't want to miss. I want to tell you, we also just launched an insider's group on Facebook, and I encourage each of of our listeners to join the group, to continue the conversation from the show, share ideas for the show and discuss your triumphs. And your challenges. We're really trying to build a community there. I have a link to the Facebook group in the show notes.

But let's start with today's Bible verse. I always like to ground us in scripture. Definitely need to do that today. This comes from the book of Colossians chapter three, verse 23. And it says this. Whatever you do. Work at it with all your heart. As working for the Lord. Not for human masters. The truth is folks. Our work, including our businesses are meant to be an act of worship unto God. But it doesn't mean our marriages should suffer in the process. I'm going to tell you later how I completely failed at this. And it nearly cost me my marriage. Much of what I'm going to tell you today are things that I have now learned and wish I [00:03:00] had applied earlier in my marriage. But more on that later. I hope that today I can help prevent some of what I've been through. And give you some concrete steps to give your marriage the care. And most importantly, the concern it's so vitally deserves.

I still vividly. Remember when my wife and I were barely scraping by in the early days of launching my accounting firm. I was working insane hours. Networking like crazy. Desperately trying to get new clients. She worked at our office handling many tasks. And then in the evenings, not only took care of the boys. But also maintained our home. To this day. I'm not sure exactly how she did it. She was so patient. Taking care of our young kids, mostly as a single mom. Why I hustled to provide. But over time, I could see her slowly start to resent my schedule. Date night slipped away. Meaningful conversations grew scarce though my business was growing. My marriage was starving.

[00:04:00] Have you ever been in that position? My friends. It feels terrible. And I know I felt hopeless at the time to try to fix it. Do you resonate with that tension? I felt. Wanting your business to thrive, but also needing to be fully present with your spouse. Well, listen, I'll tell you this. Well, you're not alone. And I've learned a few hard, but transformative lessons over time that I want to share with you today. My hope is that it'll help you strengthen your marriage while also growing your business. And as I said, I will share my story later.

Action Steps for a Stronger Marriage

So let's get to some action steps. And again, I didn't do these right. The first time around. So really listen to what I'm saying, because these can make the difference in your marriage and in your business. And the first one action. Step number one. Is schedule sacred time with your spouse. The first realization you have to come to terms with, is this. Your marriage needs to be the very foundation of your life [00:05:00] and family. And it has to be nurtured as a top priority with intentionality. Most people assume entrepreneurship means working nonstop. But they quickly learn that as a short-sighted approach. So one step is straightforward, but essential. And that you've got to do this folks schedule consistent, dedicated one-on-one time to invest in your marriage. And you've got a guard this time. Zealously.

One of my listeners shared this note. They said, Ralph, we are certainly in a different season of our life now that our kids are grown and on their own. When the kids were younger, my wife and I aim for one date night per week. Friday nights worked best in that season of life. When we had young kids. The grandparents tended to our children and my wife and I recreationally dated. Like we did pre kids.

I think that's a great thing to do. I also recommend taking even short daytime walks together to discuss your hopes. Your fears. [00:06:00] And more importantly, your dreams that can make a big difference in your marriage. I know life feels too hectic for this. Trust me I've been there, but you've got to do this. You got to fight for this time together, your marriage is worth it. The book of Proverbs chapter 18:22 says he who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. So ask the Lord to help you be intentional to nurture this precious gift. It is so important.

Let's move on to action. Step number two. And that's involve your spouse. As we discussed in step one, scheduling dedicated time is essential. But another key learning was the need to involve my spouse in my business life as well. Not just quality time away from work. This needs to be balanced as well though, because too much of this can cause problems as well. I learned that lesson all too well. And I'll talk about that later in the show.

Another [00:07:00] listener shared this. Early on. I would come home exhausted after a 12 hour Workday and regale. My wife with stories about the new client I signed or some big networking event. But over time, I realized she felt disconnected from that huge piece of my life. I was starting to lead two separate lives. Flashy entrepreneur by day and worn out disengaged husband by night. So I quickly realized how crucial it is to invite your spouse in aspects of your business. Now when I face a big decision or need to bounce ideas around my wife was one of my first calls. We'll grab lunch and I'll get her insights on my next steps. This helps her feel valued. Feel involved. And it's helped us bond.

I think that's a great message. I would also recommend considering if there are any events. Meetings or activities your spouse can join you for. This allows her to get to know your professional, world while deepening camaraderie between the two of you.

[00:08:00] And finally we move to action. Step number three. And that's unplugged fully. The latest tip ties to unplugging and disconnecting. But it's so important that I want to reiterate it here. Once you schedule dedicated couple and family time on your calendar. You've got to then completely unplug from work during those precious hours. This is an area where I truthfully failed miserably. I have to be honest, that I routinely failed at this step. And I was told many times that I wasn't able to really give my family the undivided attention they deserved. And I'm going to have to deal with the consequences of that for the rest of my life. I missed out on so many foundational aspects of their lives. That I truly cannot go back and regain. But maybe it's not too late for you.

Here's another listener comment. This was huge for me personally. I'd planned a wonderful date night. But then keep surreptitiously checking emails under the table at dinner. [00:09:00] Or we'd start a movie night with the kids, but I'd be mentally preoccupied. Planning a presentation for the next day. Over time. My wife understandably felt I wasn't fully present. Even when I was physically there. Man that one hits close to home. I've been there, done that. So now I have a simple but strict rule. When the Workday schedule is over. And couple family times begin. My devices go completely away. Emails can wait the 12 hours. I even consider buying a simple alarm clock. So I have zero need to look at my smartphone once dedicated time starts. I really appreciate the listener sharing that..

To be honest folks, this practice fully aligns with scripture. The book of Exodus chapter 23:12 says this. Six days, do your work. But on the seventh day do not work. So that your ox and your donkey [00:10:00] may rest. And I'm certainly not calling your wife an ox or a donkey. But you get the point. You've got to disconnect. You've got to rest and you've got to work on those relationships that are so vital. As important as hustle and provision are, God calls us to restful presence with loved ones. So determine those set hours for refueling marriage and family connections. When they start set physical and mental boundaries to fully unplugged. Your loved ones are priceless gifts worthy of your full attention. Trust me, I know this. I learned this. I did a terrible job at this.

Personal Story: Learning from Failure

Well now, let me tell you the truth about how I failed at all. Three of these steps. This is tough for me, but I need to be honest with my listeners. The first one is sacred time. I really screwed this up. Because it became all about me. And I didn't realize how much resentment that was breeding. It was all about my [00:11:00] business. It was all about those clients. It was all about all of those things. My wife has said to me, many times, Ralph. All you wanted to talk about was this client what was going on in the business? The kids wanted your attention. I wanted your attention. Man. I really messed that up.

The second thing, inviting her into the business. Now to be honest with you, my wife was my right-hand person or left-hand person. She's left-handed. But this became a nightmare too. Because I just assumed she wanted to make my practice her life as well. What a terrible assumption to make. My wife completely lost her identity. I didn't even realize what I'd found to be exciting. It was not that exciting for her. I didn't value what she wanted to see in life.

And number three. And I've talked about this already. Unplugging. I was a miserable failure at this. And I was completely unable to disconnect. And this led to [00:12:00] significant breaks in our relationship.

All of my failures led to a complete breakdown in the marriage back in 2018.

We had separated and divorce was just a few days away. When God brought us back together. And this year we're going to celebrate 24 years together. I won't share all the details other than to say that my failures, to balance, the business. And the marriage we're nearly catastrophic. And without God's intervention, we would not be together today. So I thank God each and every day for this grace for a lowly sinner like me.

Well, that's my story. So please don't do, as I did. But rather follow these steps and nurture and grow your marriage and family while you still have time.

If you feel tension around balancing business growth and marriage health, you're not alone. I've walked that road. [00:13:00] And it took some very hard lessons to find alignment. I feel like I'm there now.

Recap and Closing Thoughts

So here's the steps we covered today. And I would encourage you do these steps before it's too late. And number one schedule consistent recurring one-on-one time with your spouse. To invest in the marriage. You invest in your bank account, you investing your investment accounts. Invest in your marriage. You've got to fight to protect this sacred time. The second thing. Invite your spouse in the aspects of your business, like key decisions and occasional events. This bonds you together. In something that will be a camaraderie. You don't realize how very important this is. And number three. Unplug a hundred percent during dedicated couple and family time. Guard these precious people by being fully, mentally present.

The Lord desires, thriving marriages and families, not just successful [00:14:00] businesses. As first Timothy chapter three, verse five wisely councils. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family. How can he take care of God's church? So, whether it's in your home, Or entrepreneurial endeavors seek first God's kingdom. Build each realm with excellence. While also nurturing your first and most sacred community. Your family.

Well, thanks for joining me today on the podcast. I know I shared a lot. But I felt like I needed to do that because I know there are listeners out there right now that are dealing with these same battles. Visit our website at askralphpodcast.com for more great resources. On integrating your faith and finances. If this episode has reached you do me a favor. And share it with somebody. Share it with somebody who might be dealing with these same things, balancing business and marriage. And as I always say, remember this. God [00:15:00] is good. All the time. Stay financially savvy. And may God bless you. And may God bless your marriages. And your family as well as your businesses.

Thank you for joining us on the AskRalph podcast. And with a simple click to subscribe, we'll invite you back to our next episode. And remember, financial issues don't have to be complicated. Just AskRalph. The information contained in this episode of AskRalph is based on data available as of the date of its release.

Saggio Accounting Plus and AskRalph Media Inc. is under no obligation to update this content if changes occur. Applying this information to your specific situation requires careful consideration of all facts and circumstances, and any information provided is not to be considered as financial, tax, or legal advice.

Please consult your tax advisor or attorney before acting on any material covered.