What is the true meaning of Christmas from a Christian perspective?

Ralph
00:00:00

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the commercialization of Christmas? Does your bank account cringe every December as you try to keep up with the pressure to buy more and more gifts?

Well, today we're tackling a question that hits close to home and that's what's the true meaning of Christmas from a Christian perspective? And how can we celebrate without breaking the bank?

Podcast Announcer
00:00:22

Welcome to the Ask Ralph podcast where listening to an experienced financial professional with over 30 years of experience can help you make sense of confusing questions, current headlines and industry trends about taxes, small business, financial decision making, investment strategies, and even the art of proper budgeting. Ask Ralph makes the complex simple by sharing his real world knowledge from a Christian perspective with all things financial.

Now here's your host, Ralph Estep Jr.

Ralph
00:00:50

Well, thank you for joining me today on the Ask Ralph show. I'm your host, Ralph and my passion is to help you master your finances while growing in your Christian faith. And I want to wish everyone listening or viewing a very Merry Christmas. Now, if you missed yesterday's show, I talked about how to negotiate the best deal when buying a used car. If you missed it, I'm going to encourage you to check it out because I shared some powerful strategies that could save you thousands on your next vehicle purchase.

Today's listener question comes from Luna. Now, Luna is from Atlanta and she writes this.
"Dear Ralph, I'm struggling with Christmas this year. Between the pressure to buy expensive gifts for everyone and the constant commercials pushing more spending, I feel like I'm losing sight of what Christmas should really mean for us as Christians. How can I maintain the true spirit of Christmas while being financially responsible? I want my children to understand the real meaning of the holiday, but everywhere they look, it's all about getting more stuff."

Well Luna, thank you for your thoughtful question. And if I'm being honest, I feel the same way as you. Christmas is one of the most stressful times for some people, for a lot of us, because we're trying to live up to this unrealistic expectation. I talk about it like it's a sports analogy, like the highlight reel, and what's going to be posted on Facebook and what's going to be posted on TikTok and all those sort of things.

And yes, we do lose the bigger meaning of Christmas as a Christian. Now, let me remind you, your questions drive the show, and I love helping you find solutions. If you've got a question through the [00:02:00] show, go to justaskralph.com and submit your financial questions. And your question too maybe part of the show, just like today's question from Luna.

Luna, your question reminds me of a powerful verse that speaks directly to where our focus should be during this holiday season.

Today's Bible verse comes to us from the book of Matthew chapter 6, verses 31 and 32.

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' Or 'What shall we drink?' Or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of these things will be added to you." I think that puts it perfectly.

So let's focus on that verse and let's talk about the true meaning of Christmas.
Well, let me share a personal story that really transformed my perspective on Christmas. I guess it was about 20 years ago and I was exactly where you are Luna. I was maxing out credit cards, buying presents.

I was stressing about decorations. And I was feeling emptier and emptier with each purchase. See, I was seeking success in all the wrong places. And I was forgetting to put God's kingdom first. Now I can tell, I can still tell you when the turning point came, it came during our family's traditional Christmas shopping spree at the mall. And I have two sons at the time they were young.

My son asked me a single question while we were standing in line to see Santa and back in those days, you know, the kids were really young. Santa was a big thing for them. And he looked me square in the eyes and he said, "dad, Why do we celebrate Christmas?" And I gotta be honest with you. I was kind of startled by the question. I'm looking all around.

I'm thinking, what do I say to him?
And I started to give him the usual answer about Santa and presents, but then I stopped. And that moment hit me like a ton of bricks.
And it was at that moment, I realized I've been teaching him that Christmas was all about material things, when in reality, I needed to seek His kingdom first and trust that everything else would fall into place.

Because you see just like you Luna, I'd forgotten the fundamental principle of stewardship. That everything we have is a gift from God.
And it was meant to be managed wisely and used for His glory. I was caught up in the worldly pursuit of more, rather than focusing on being a good steward of what God had already blessed us with. I had fallen into that trap, that highlight reel I talk about of Christmas day that sea of presents. And all the things that go along with all those posts on social media. And I was pursuing the wrong goals. So we got done at the mall. That evening,
I sat down with my family and we made a commitment to transform our approach to Christmas. And we decided what I later called the "Kingdom first Christmas strategy." And I want to share that with everybody today. And it starts with this. Number one. Putting our spiritual foundations first. And what we've done since that time, we've started each December morning with family prayer and scripture reading. I focused on that.

We made the nativity story our central focus, because that's the whole point of Christmas. And listen, if you got young ones in the car, you don't want to have them listen to this Christmas is not about Santa Claus and presents. It's about the birth of Christ. It's about that nativity and just what that meant.

We focused on those spiritual foundations.
We also created an advent calendar to focused on daily acts of service. It wasn't just to get gifts. It was to get those through our minds working in the way of thinking about service.
And these spiritual practice help us put God at the center of all of our decision-making processes. So that's where we [00:06:00] started. We started with spiritual foundations first. The second thing I want to bring to your attention is what I call stewardship in action. And instead of that mindless spending, listen, it's like a Ponzi scheme to make. You buy something for $50.

Somebody else buys you something for $50. What have you accomplished in the end? So we started to embrace what I'll call wise resource management. One of the ways we did that is we set a reasonable gift budget. That doesn't mean we didn't give gifts. I'm not saying that at all. But we set a reasonable gift budget that didn't strain our finances.

We didn't want to have that credit card debt mountain that would hit us in January and February. And we focused on meaningful gifts rather than expensive ones, because guess what? You take a look back at, and I know with my kids. I remember one particular Christmas. I bought them both computers, and man they weren't cheap. But you know what, those aren't the things that we remember. The things we remember are those [00:07:00] emotional moments, those connections, that family time. Not those expensive gifts. So one of the things we started was what we called a tradition of homemade gifts. Because think about it.

It's really simple to go on to Amazon or to go to Target or go to Walmart or go online somewhere and order somebody a gift. But it's much more meaningful when you handmade that. Like I want to use an example. Like I arrived at my office this morning and my admin, she had left me homemade cookies. And the truth of the matter is that is so much more valuable than something you go buy online and buy it to store. Another thing we implemented as part of this was the 'one in, one out' rule for new possessions. Because we saw what our kids, listen.

We had grandparents that were spending themselves into oblivion, putting all these presents under the Christmas tree every year. And we finally said to them, this needs to stop. I mean, it literally looked like they had gone to the toy store and found everything they could find to fit in two or three carts and bought it for them. And we told them, listen,
here's the deal. One gift per child.

Now, if you want to get them a nice clothing outfit and you know kids don't like those things, but the truth is that was more valuable. So we implemented that one in, one out rule. So that's what I mean when I say that number two thing that stewardship in action. Let's look at number three, and this is when I really stressed and I stressed to this day and that's purpose driven giving. We learned that true financial success
isn't just about having a big bank account. Like I've said on the show a million times, I could teach you to be a very successful scoundrel. But true financial success is about using our resources in a way that aligns with our values and does good in the world. And that's not some pie in the sky idea. We grounded this, we started supporting local families in need. One of the things we did for, at a church we went to. I approached a pastor.

His name was Bill. He was a friend of mine and I said, Bill, look. I'm going to give you a bunch of gift cards. And I want you to bless people in the church who need them. I don't want them to know who they're from. It doesn't matter to us. Here's 10 of these gift cards and just bless people who need them. We started contributing to our church's mission work.
We started looking for ways to share our blessings.

And this is a great thing that you can do with your kids. We started teaching our children about generous giving because kids have this mentality. The gimme gimme, gimme and more and more and more. And we started to show our children how they could give and push that back out towards others. And they saw how this made a positive impact in our community.

They saw those families who were blessed by the gifts that they made for them or the money that we as a family contributed because honestly, the truth is this. We took that family Christmas budget and we said to our children, look from now on 50% of our Christmas budget is going to other people.

Now, when we first said that, the two young boys were like, that's stinks, dad. I'm like, yeah, it does. But here's the deal. I want to teach you a lesson for the future. So that's number three. That's that purpose driven giving. Number four. And this one is crucial. You need to start building lasting legacy. We realized that managing resources wisely within our family
wasn't just about immediate benefits. Again, I can make you a very successful scoundrel in the longterm. But it was about creating a sustainable approach to celebrating Christmas that would benefit future generations. I looked at my two boys' eyes and I said to myself, I said, I need to give them something
that's not going to be an immediate benefit. But it's something they're going to take with them as they go into adulthood. I wanted to show them how these traditions, these creating meaningful traditions could focus on Christ and not Santa Claus and not presents, and shopping at the mall. My goal was to teach them financial responsibility through our own example, because that's the way we learn the best when we do it ourselves.
Not when we watch other people, but do it ourselves. And I wanted to demonstrate how to balance generosity with wise financial stewardship. And one of the big lessons I wanted to teach them was I wanted to show our children that joy comes from giving rather than receiving.

It's easy to receive gifts.
But I wanted them to see how joy, true joy can come from giving to others rather than focusing on receiving it themselves.
And then I also learned to balance profitability and purpose. Just as a business, we learned to balance our desire to give with responsible financial management.
See, we had to set that family budget. We had to be intentional about it. We had to be what I saw, what I'll call intentional about our spending.

Ralph Estep, Jr.: And we had to find creative ways to give that didn't involve money and see that was a useful lesson to teach my boys because as they got a little bit older, now they're 23 and 27. And they'll say to me, Hey dad, what do you want for Christmas? I said, don't give me anything. I don't want anything. Donate to a charity. Give it to the local food bank. And you know, we'll still exchange little odds and then gifts.

But I want them to be intentional about their spending.
I don't want either of them to go down this road of getting into financial debt because they want to put something nice for mom and dad on their Christmas tree.
I wanted to make sure that our giving was sustainable. It didn't create debt because I see so many people who wrecked their finances every Christmas season. They just absolutely spend every last dollar. We've had family members who have done this. They will get big Christmas bonuses and man, they would buy everything under the sun. Because they were so focused on that short-term pleasure that they forgot about the long-term impact of that. If you're charging up your credit cards, if you're blowing through your emergency savings, you're going to reduce your credit score at the same time because your maximum allowed on your credit card is going to be over that number.

So think about it. That's a longterm impact for that short term pleasure.

And I got to tell you right now, the transformation in our family was remarkable. It didn't happen overnight. This was a season after season process. It started when the kids were young when we finally said to the grandparents, we've had enough of this. And it wasn't meant to be punitive. It was about trying to teach the kids that they can't have every single thing they want under the Christmas tree.

And so the kids experienced this firsthand instead of waking up with a mountain of presence and those subsequent credit card bills, not just for us, but for the grandparents and aunts and uncles. We now experience a Christmas season that's filled with genuine joy, with deeper relationships and dare I say it, more valuable spiritual growth.

And listen, our bank account stays healthy and more importantly, our hearts are focused on what truly matters. So Luna, remember this. Christmas isn't about how much we spend or what we buy. It just isn't. If that's where your focus is, you gotta address your heart about this.

Christmas is about recognizing that everything we have is a gift from God. And we're called to be good stewards of those resources. And when we align our celebrations with this purpose, we find deeper joy and satisfaction. And this is the truth. We find deeper joy and satisfaction that no amount of presents could ever provide. Well now I'd like to ask to pray on this Christmas day. Heavenly Father, I come before you with a grateful heart
today. Thank you for this incredible blessing of being able to share your wisdom through this platform, helping others navigate both their financial journeys and their spiritual walk.

Lord, you've taught us through your word about the importance of being good stewards of all you've given us, and I'm humbled to be used as a vessel to share these teachings.

I want to especially lift up each of the listeners and viewers who have joined us today. Thank you for bringing them into this community of believers who are seeking to first honor You with their finances.

Just as You've guided me through my own financial challenges and spiritual growth, and I've been through that fire Lord. I pray that You would grant each listener and viewer the wisdom. I would pray that You would grant them discernment and the strength they need for this journey.

Father, during this Christmas season, help us all to keep our hearts focused on your greatest gift and that's your son, Jesus Christ. Give us the courage to resist those worldly pleasures of materialism. So easy to get stuck in those things and instead embrace the true spirit of giving and gratitude that you exemplify every day in our lives. To my dear listeners and viewers, I am deeply thankful for the trust you place in me by allowing me to be part of your financial and spiritual journey. Your questions, your stories and your faith inspire me daily to continue this ministry. Each of you is a precious reminder of why I started this show in the first place. And that was to help others achieve financial freedom while growing closer to God. So Lord bless each person listening or watching with your peace that surpasses all understanding. Guide them in their financial decisions, strengthen their faith and help them to see that everything they have is a gift from you.
And I ask this in Jesus' precious name.
Amen. Well I want to get to some action steps you can take to change a dynamic in your family. And I know it's too late for this Christmas, but I want to encourage you to download my Christmas guide. And put it to work now. Because maybe you're tired of starting every new year, buried under a mountain of holiday debt. You want to create those magical Christmas memories without the financial stress that usually comes from them. So I wrote this guide.

I'm going to say to you, you can discover peace of mind with my free "Surviving the holidays without going broke" guide. I thought that was a good name to caught. Surviving the holidays without going broke because that's the focus. And in that guide I'm going to show you a proven budget system that actually works.

If you put it to work, you could start right now on Christmas day. And by next Christmas, you'll be set. I'm going to share with you some smart shopping strategies to slash your cost. I'm going to show you ways to create those magical memories without maxing out those credit cards. It's exactly what we talked about on today's show. I'm going to give you some tips for teaching kids gratitude. And like I said, this gimme, gimme more world. And most of all, the whole purpose of today's show is how to keep faith and family at the center of your celebration. So don't let January's credit card bill steal your holiday joy.

If you're in that place right now, this is the time to break that cycle. So download that free guide. You go to askralphpodcast.com/christmas. And I know it's too late for this year, but make this next Christmas season your most meaningful and dare I say, affordable holiday season yet. If you start now, you will be having great results. Your stress-free holiday season starts here. Again, go to askralphpodcast.com/christmas. Again, that's askralphpodcast.com/christmas. And get that Christmas guide. So I promised I'd share some practical steps with you and here they are.

And this is what I'm going to tell you. These are some of the things you can do to prepare for next Christmas while honoring God and being financially wise. Number one thing, start a Christmas savings fund now. It's not too late to start that. Do it today. Set up an automatic monthly transfer to a dedicated Christmas account.

A lot of credit unions. I talk a lot about credit unions because I was in that world for a long time. Have these things called a Christmas account. Maybe you go set up a special savings account. Call that your Christmas account. Write that budget today while you're thinking about it, while you're looking at who you're going to give gifts to, and simply take that budget divide by 12 and make a commitment that every month, you're going to put one 12th of that, into that dedicated Christmas account. Because remember this. As part of being a good steward, it means that you're planning ahead with the resources God has given us.

So that's number one. And that start that Christmas savings now. Number two. Implement what I'm going to call the three gift rule. And you think about it. This comes directly from the wise man who brought three gifts to Jesus at the time of his birth. So use these categories. Number one, something they want. Number two, something they need. And number three, something to help them grow spiritually.

So every gift has to fit into one of those categories or you get them each three gifts. Something they want. Something they need and something to help them grow spiritually. Because that'll help us maintain focus on quality over quantity at the same time, teaching biblical principles of stewardship.

So that's number one, number two, excuse me. Implement that three gift rule. Number three, create a gratitude practice. I harp about this on the show all the time, because I see the value in having gratitude. So start a family gratitude journal. Maybe you're already doing one individually. Well do it as a family.

Sit down maybe once a week and just talk as a family. I don't care how young your kids are. And say to them, Hey, what are we grateful for this week? Because you're going to start to build momentum. You're going to start to build that habit. And then take time each day in your family to pray about how much you're blessed by God, all the things you already have, because it will help shift that focus from materialism to appreciation.

And that's what we need to teach these children is we need to move them from this materialism because it's all around them. They go on social media, they go on TV. It's all about that gimmie, gimmie, materialism stuff.

And this gratitude can serve as a catalyst for maintaining a positive mindset, because that's what we really need to do.

We need to change the paradigm. We need to change the mindset. So that's number three, create that gratitude practice. Number four, establish mindful spending habits. If you listened to the show the last few weeks, I have been on this topic. If you're going to buy anything that's not essential, put that holding period in place, whether it's 24, 36 or 48 hours. Just put it on
pause, set that number. Maybe it's a hundred dollars. Maybe it's $50. If it's not essential, take a pause.

And then the second question to ask yourself while you're thinking about those mindful spending habits is consider whether the purchase is aligned with your priorities and values. One of my friends that listens to the podcast, he said, Ralph hit me over the head with a mallet the other day, when you said that. He said, I'm starting to finally look at my purchases and asking myself the tougher question. Because yeah, you might be able to afford it.

That's not what I'm saying here. But does that purchase align with your priorities and your values? Because when you put that into practice, you're going to avoid emotional impulsive spending. Because you're going to avoid that trigger that happens from that holiday marketing. So that's number four, establish those mindful spending habits. Number five.

It's a great time to start, developing those cost savings strategies. Look for deals throughout the year. Just because Christmas happens in December, it doesn't mean you have to buy those Christmas gifts in December. Maybe start planning out homemade gifts because maybe you're good with working with crafts or maybe you're good with working with wood, you could start to think about, Hey, I'm going to make this homemade, whatever that is for next Christmas for this person.

But if you start thinking about those things now, then you can have that plan in place, because if you wait till, you know, the 1st of December and say, well, I got to scramble to make all these homemade gifts, you might not be able to get done what you want to get done, but you could have this mindset right now that, you know, next Christmas everyone's getting a homemade gift. And I'm going to think through each person, what their desires are, what they'd really love. And then share those experiences of family members at larger gatherings to talk about, Hey, here's what we're thinking about for Christmas next year. It's a great time to set that focus because if everybody's being honest, Like I said, it's almost like a Ponzi scheme. I give you a $50 gift card.

You give me a $50 gift card and I give this one and this, and at the end of the day, a lot of us have stuff we don't want or don't need and we spent ourselves into oblivion. Number six, incorporate spiritual practices. This is the time to start setting aside regular quiet time for prayer and reflection. We talked about that gratitude.

Well, ask for prayer. Ask for God to guide you in this. Start reading the scripture daily. Specially focus on those stewardship passages. You know, I talk about that on the show all the time. If you're not going to a church, I'm going to encourage you to join a community of believers that can support your financial and spiritual goals.

You can not do this on your own. You need people around you to help build you up to get you through those tough times because the devil is a liar and he will attack you. You need those people to help support you. He's gonna tell you about you can't do it on your own. He's going to tell you you're not going to be able to make it.

You know, he's going to give you all of this doubt that's going to put such a burden on you and stress on you. So join that community of believers. Number seven. And this is the last one in my checklist for action items is put those regular financial check-ins on your calendar. Check your spending monthly. Again, I'm harping on again, but this is the time to think about that. We talked about creating that Christmas budget.

We talked about creating that Christmas savings plan. So adjust that plan as you need. And here's the thing, the big takeaway today. If you don't listen to anything else I've said about this whole, what is the purpose of Christmas for Christians. This is a time to keep your financial goals aligned with your spiritual values. Remember this. Successful financial planning
isn't just about having a big bank account. I said that. It's about using our resources in a way that honors God and reflects our values. And by implementing these steps now you'll be better prepared to celebrate Christmas in a way that's both financial responsible and spiritually meaningful.

Remember this. Christmas isn't just about how much we spend or what we buy. It just isn't. So if you hear me hear anything else I say today, Luna, here's the answer. It's about celebrating God's greatest gift to us and that was Jesus Christ and sharing that love with others. So what's the true meaning of Christmas?

That's what it is. It's about celebrating God's gift to us, not the gifts we give other people, not the things that are under this silly Christmas tree. I'm not saying don't have those traditions. Those are fine. But put the gift of Jesus Christ at the center. And share that love with others. Now tomorrow, I'm going to shift gears and talk about preparing for your 2024 tax preparation. So make sure you tune in for that important discussion. And as I close today, remember this. My passion is to help you achieve financial success.

That's what I want to see you do. I want to see you live out your dreams. And I want to see you grow in your faith. And I do together, we can master those finances from a Christian perspective. So as I close today, Merry Christmas to you and your family. Thank you again for being a part of the Ask Ralph family.

And as I always say, stay financially savvy out there and may God bless you on this Christmas day.

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