How can I build effective Christian unity?

Ralph
00:00:00

Let me ask you a question today. Are you feeling disconnected from your church community? Does division among believers weigh heavily on your heart and your wallet? Well today, I'm going to explore how building Christian unity can strengthen both your faith and your finances. As a listener asked me, how can I build effective Christian unity? Today, I'm going to answer that challenging question.

Narrator
00:00:28

Welcome to the Ask Ralph Podcast. We're listening to an experienced financial professional with over 30 years of experience can help you make sense of confusing questions, current headlines and industry trends about taxes, small business, financial decision making, investment strategies, and even the art of proper budgeting. Ask Ralph makes the complex simple by sharing his real world knowledge from a Christian perspective with all things financial.

Now, here's your host, Ralph Estep Jr.

Ralph
00:00:56

Well, thank you for joining me today. I'm humbled that you're spending time with me as we navigate financial wisdom and spiritual growth. Now, if you missed yesterday's episode, it was a powerful one. Talk to all about helping aging parents with retirement challenges. Yes, and that's a sensitive topic. I get it. But I did offer some practical solutions while still honoring God to biblically honor and care for your parents. I'm going to encourage you to check it out.

Well, let me share Julie's message. This is our question of the day, and this one really touched my heart, and she wrote this. She said, "Dear Ralph, I'm struggling with the lack of unity in my local church. Recently, our congregation had a heated debate about the church building fund, causing deep divisions. Some members want to invest in a larger facility, while others prefer using those funds for community outreach. The tension is affecting not just our spiritual fellowship but also our collective ability to make sound financial decisions for the church. How can we build effective Christian unity, especially when money matters are involved?"

Well Julie, thank you for your question. And I wish I never heard of these debates. But I've been through, and I've seen them. They're way too common. And the sad part, they lead to huge church splits and all sorts of dissension.

Before I get to your answer, Julie, let me tell you this, this show exists because of questions just like yours. And one of the things I want to encourage you to do is each Tuesday evening at 7:00 PM Eastern time, I go live with the Ask Ralph show live, and here's the best part. I'm giving away a hundred-dollar gift card every week we're doing a drawing. If you're a member of the audience, you can win a hundred-dollar Amazon gift card. Now to reach our live show, just go to askralphpodcast.com/live. Again, that's askralphpodcast.com/live. I hope to see you there.

You know Julie, your question speaks directly about unity and it's impact on our spiritual wellbeing. And I found this verse from the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 4, verses 9 and 10. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them." I think it cuts right to the chase, doesn't it, Julie?

Well, let's start by looking at some sobering statistics. In preparation for the show, I wanted to think about this church unity, and I wanted to look for some statistic. And listen, there's no comprehensive database. There's no like church database of church issues, but I did find some interesting statistics.

So let me share these with you. First one is what we call frequency of church splits. And this was a 2019 survey conducted by the Barna group. And it found that 28% of Protestant pastors reported experiencing a church split during their tenure. Think about that. 28% of Protestant pastors experience a church split during their tenure. That's almost a third. The next question I want to talk about is reasons for church splits.

And this was a 2015 study by the Hartford Institute for religious research. And they identified the top reasons for church conflicts leading the splits. Number, the first one, 25% of church splits were leadership style or decision-making. A full one quarter. The second, top one, 22% was theologic, theology or doctrine. The next one, 19% was finances or budget. 17% were worship style or music, and 15% were membership or attendance issues.

So those were the, that's the 2015 study of why churches split. Number one, leadership style or decision-making. Number two, theology or doctrine, finances or budget, worship style or music. I've seen that happen too. Let's talk about some theological debates. A 2020 survey by the Pew Research Center. And I think this was fascinating, founded the most common theological debates leading the church splits were, think about this one. 44% were disagreements over LGBTQ+ issues. A full, almost half of the church splits 44% because of that. 35% were disagreements over the role of women in the church. And the last thing they found here at 29% were disagreements over racial or ethnic issues. Let's talk about financial stress statistics. A 2018 survey by the National Association of Church of Business Administration found that 64% of churches reported experiencing financial stress. Think about that. 64%, almost two thirds. And we saw that contributes to church splits as well. Let's look at unity debates. A 2017 survey by the Barna group found that 46% of Protestant pastors reported experiencing conflict within their church due to differing opinions on social and cultural issues.

Almost half. How about denominational splits? A 2020 report by the Christianity today found that between 2010 and 2020, at least 15 Protestant denominations experienced significant splits or schisms as they call it, often due to disagreements over theology, governance, or social issues. And this was the really sad part of this.

And I'm going to move beyond statistics because I know it's boring. But I think we had to start a discussion, and that's church closure rates. A 2020 report by the Barna group. Barna seems to be a big study of this, estimated that between 6,000 and 10,000 churches in the United States close each year. That was sobering to me. 6,000 to 10,000 close each year. And they found that with many of these closures resulting from internal conflicts or financial struggles. So what do these things tell us?

They are truly sad situations. And I've been through these myself. Let me tell you about that. My family joined a church several years back. We had, they had just gone through a massive church split. Now we didn't even know about it at the time because we were coming into, we had just moved into that particular town. And we were coming into it.

So we joined the church and then we started hearing all this scuttlebutt about what had happened. And their whole thing was they got divided over whether to invest in a new building. So just like you talked about in your question today. So there was this the sanction between do we build a new building, or do we invest in community programs?

And let me tell you, from what I heard, the division was deep. I got involved in the finances and I looked at some statistical history and man, weekly offerings were down, ministry programs were in jeopardy. They actually had a school and the school at one point was actually supporting the church which is usually the opposite way around. We met somebody at the church, and he told me, he said, Ralph, he said, I remember one Sunday morning.

He says, I'll never forget this. We normally had this vibrant fellowship hall. But this one Sunday morning, it was eerily quiet. People who always sat together were sitting at different tables. He said, I knew something was wrong. He went on to share, he said the financial committee meetings became battlegrounds. He said it was crazy Ralph. He said, you think these Christian people had lost their minds. I mean, it was, he said there were times when it almost got into fisticuffs, like they were getting ready to fight each other.

And he says, he said the race and Ralph, the church was hemorrhaging both spiritually and financially. And unfortunately, in the end, the church split. A bunch left and started their own church. And by that, the building was done. So guess what? It created this huge deep financial hole because they had this mortgage to pay and they actually had about half of the congregation before they had committed to doing the project. But he did say to me, he said, Ralph, It wasn't all bad. He said, because it taught them some valuable lessons about unity.

And I want to share with you those today. If we look at these statistics, we see about the sanction, we see about churches closing, we see about theological differences and all that kind of stuff. And I don't have all the answers. But this fellow said to me, he said, this is what they learned. So I'm going to share these things with you. The first one, as I always say with just about everything I talk about, start with prayer. And here's the idea he came up with.

He said, Ralph, we started holding a prayer meeting before any kind of financial discussion or any kind of strategic planning. And he said that prayer meeting was all about focusing on unity. We wanted to change the perspective. The way he phrased it to me, he said, Ralph, we want to move from my way to God's way. Let me tell you, I thought there was a great idea, and I think it's something we can all implement, even in interpersonal discussions.

If we're having a debate with our spouse or debate with our kids, pray first. Focus on unity. Maybe it's unity of the marriage or unity of the family. And work to change that perspective and try to move away from my way to God's way. The second thing he told me about was they practice financial transparency.

And I think this is critical because I handle finances for several churches. And every pastor has said this to me. He says, Ralph, I like you being on board because it, it is independence. It’s a third party. And they've all said to me, they said, Ralph builds accountability. And it's true. It does because there's somebody on the outside looking at it. But the key to that is providing updated information. One of the things I encourage all of my church clients, offer educational sessions. Help the people of the congregation understand the finances, understand how this all works. I mean, you're going to ask them to put money in the collection plate, do a good job of explaining to them where the money goes, how it's spent, how it's accounted for. Well you know, if you've got, I hope you have a church have a budget. Explain how that's developed. And then talk about both the spiritual and practical implications.

Listen, my own church, this past June. We nearly had a financial crisis. The truth is giving was down. And what do we do? The church leadership, I'm on the finance committee, I also do the books for our church, to pastor, they went to the congregation. They said, here's where we are. If things don't change, we're going to have to cut these programs. We're going to have to take money from somewhere to make this work.

And there was a collective sigh of relief when a month or two later, things started to improve. And I was happy that things resolved. But it was that education. It was that helping everyone understand both the practical implications of there wasn't enough money coming in the door and how that would affect the spiritual growth of the church.

So I think that's an important thing. Number three. This is a key to success in any relationship and that's find common ground. See, because most of the time, what we realize are both sides want the same thing. Especially when we're talking about churches.

If we're being honest, a goal for both is to glorify God. Now we might have a different way of getting there. We might have a different setup practical applications. But most churches want to serve the community. So, if you can think about ways to develop some hybrid solutions for that, both to serve the community and glorify God,

look for that common ground. Look to satisfy both perspectives. Because there's a very simple truth to this. It can't be that win-loss. One side can't win and the other lose it. It just not going to work, especially in those church and that unification. There's those decision-making points. If there is a team that loses, it's going to be a bigger loss. You're going to see a church,
well, you're going to see some people just walk away and unfortunately, a lot of times when churches split, people just stop going to church altogether. And that is truly tragic. Number four thing on my list here today is create unified decision making processes. And one of the things that they found in this church, and I think this is a great idea is encourage a system where financial decisions aren't just majority role, you know that okay,
how many people are in, in favor of this? Say, I. Raise your hand. I think that doesn't work because you create that win loss situation. I think the better answer is looking for ways to build consensus. And I'm not saying you're always going to be able to do that. But I think with consistent prayer, with consistent discussion, I think you can work to that goal of unification in the decision-making process.

Now there may be decisions that, you know what, as the leadership team of the church, however your church works, if it's a deacon's board or however that works, there might be times when you've got to make tough decisions. But I think if you can encourage a system where financial decisions are not just majority rule and you can try to build that consensus, I think you're going to see more unification.

And finally number five. And this one is crucial. You've got to look for ways to build personal relationships. One of the ways that this church and many churches have found to do this is organizing small group meetings. Because then you can allow opposing viewpoints to talk things out, maybe share meals. But they can talk on a one-on-one level, maybe just a few people
so it doesn't become this heated debate. And the goal there is to find common ground and encourage that heart sharing. You know, work to break down barriers that divide getting back. You know, the divide, the people and break down those barriers. I just think those are going to be very powerful things.

So let me just recap those. Start with prayer. Number two, practice financial transparency, and that's crucial. Number three, find common ground. Number four, create unified decision-making processes. And like I said, number five, build those personal relationships. Well let me get back to that church I discussed earlier. Now my friend says we implemented all these things, Ralph. Now my wife and I and our children, we started attending church about six months after this big split. So when I looked at the financials, let me tell you the transformation was remarkable.

They had this building issue where they had this huge building. They didn't have enough people to do it. So how did they address it? The finance committee refinanced the building. They made it work. And that took off some immediate tension. And then they work to build consensus. They work to build small groups. And I'm happy to say they saw a 30% increase in giving. Why? Because here's a simple truth.

When God's people unite, he blesses them. He blesses both the fellowship and their finances. And my wife and I, and the kids, we saw it firsthand. And it was an amazing thing to see. I'm going to share some action steps you can take if you want to find this Christian unity and act as a catalyst in your church community. But first, I want to ask you this. Are you losing sleep wondering how you'll afford everything on your holiday list this year? This is a time of stress for people.

Let me tell you, I hear about this every day. Are you tired of starting every new year, buried under a mountain of holiday debt? You wanted to have that glorious Christmas, but now you've got this debt. Do you want to create magical Christmas memories without the financial stress that usually comes with them? I'm going to encourage you.

Discover peace of mind with my free "Surviving the holidays without going broke" guide. I worked very hard to put this guide together. I'm going to talk about a proven budget system that actually works. I'm going to share some smart shopping strategies to slash your costs. I'm going to share with you some magical memories, the way to create those without maxing out those credit cards. Mostly going to add thing here about teaching kids gratitude in this what we call gimme world.

These kids have this gimme mentality. But I'm going to talk to you about how you can teach kids how to budget and teach them that gratitude. And my main goal is how to keep faith and family at the center of your celebration, because that's the key to the whole thing.

So don't let January credit card bill steal your holiday joy. Download your free guide today. You can do that at askralphpodcast.com/christmas. I thought that was an easy way to remember. And listen, make this your most meaningful and at the same time affordable holiday season yet. I'm just going to tell you this, your stress-free holiday season starts here.

So again, go to askralphpodcast.com/christmas and download that free guide. Well let me ask a prayer, then I'll share some action steps. Heavenly Father, we come before You grateful for the gift of community. Lord, where there is division, bring unity. Where there is strife, bring peace. Help us to be good stewards not just of our money, but all of our relationships within the body of Christ. Guide us to make financial decisions that honor You and strengthen our fellowship. We asked this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

I promise you some practical steps you can take to build Christian community and here we go. Number one. First thing I'm going to encourage you to do. Initiate a weekly prayer partnership with someone who holds different views. And you're saying to me, Ralph, you've lost your mind. But see, that's how you start to learn those consensus building skills. Find a way to pray with somebody that doesn't think the same as you. It's going to help you, now look, you might not agree, but you can be agreeable without being disagreeable.

You can agree to disagree. That's an okay thing. We live in a world that is so hyper partisan on both sides. So find that prayer, tie that together with someone who holds different views. That's number one. Number two. A lot of churches need your help. Volunteer for the church finance committee to better understand various perspectives.

You don't have to be a financial expert. In fact, I would encourage you not to be that. But get on that finance committee, because a lot of churches are looking for that accountability people in the church. But people don't want to volunteer because well, that you need to be an account, or you need to be a financial advisor.

You don't, you absolutely do not. Because if the church is doing a good job of being transparent, it's going to be a very simple discussion of what's coming in and what's going out and why. So I'm going to encourage you to join the finance committee. I know in my own church, we've had struggle getting people to be on the finance committee. Number three, organize fellowship events that bring people together from different viewpoints. Kinda like I talked about in the first thing, you know, have those weekly prayer partnership with someone who holds different views. I'm going to encourage you the same thing with fellowship events. Give people an opportunity to understand and to interact with people that might not think exactly like them. Number four. Listen, if you do nothing else today, support transparency in church financial matters.

These things need to be clearly in front of everybody. Everyone needs to know where the money's going. Everyone needs to understand how it's measured. Who's in charge of that. What are the accountability points? What are the safeguards? You know, we call these in accounting lingo, internal controls.

Everybody needs to understand those things because too many times, there isn't transparency, then something happens, and it just destroys the church community. And last but not least. And this is something we all can do.

Be the first to extend an olive branch in conflicts. You're going to have conflicts. I had a conflict last night. We had a church meeting. I'm not going to get into the details. We're looking at bringing in some third parties to do some work with our congregation. And during the meeting, the guy honestly said something that was insulting to me. And I think he realized that right after he said it.

But guess what? I extended the olive branch, and you could do the same. Now tomorrow we're going to explore an important topic and that is what are five things to consider before buying groceries with your credit card? That's one you don't want to miss because I'm going to give you some practical insights that can save you hundreds of dollars. And remember this, my passion is to help you achieve financial success. I want to see you live out your dreams and grow in your faith. And I know together, we can master your finances from a Christian perspective. So as I always end this show, stay financially savvy out there, and God bless you.

Narrator
00:21:34

Thank you for joining us on the Ask Ralph podcast, and with a simple click to subscribe, we'll invite you back to our next episode. And remember, financial issues don't have to be complicated, just Ask Ralph.

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