How Do You Safeguard Family Wealth From the Grip of Slot Machines?

Ralph
00:00:00

Have you ever felt that pull of slot machines? The flashing lights, the promise of quick riches and the thrill of near misses? If you were someone you know is struggling with slot machine addiction, it's not just about losing money. It's about the devastating impact it can have on your family's wealth and on your family's well being.

Well today, we're diving into how to safeguard your family's wealth from the grip of slot machines or any other type of gambling addiction. Stay tuned to find out how you can protect your loved ones and your finances. I'm going to share an unbelievable story about someone who nearly lost it all.

Podcast Announcer
00:00:36

In a world where crushing debt keeps you trapped, where living paycheck to paycheck has become your new normal, and where the dream of retirement seems impossibly out of reach, there's hope. Join financial evangelist Ralph Estep Jr. A man who's walked through the fire of financial failure and emerged stronger on the other side.

Welcome to Ask Ralph, the show where real world experience meets biblical truth to break the bondage of financial despair.

Get ready to take control of your money, break free from the financial stress and align your resources with God's purpose for your life. This is Ask Ralph with Ralph Estep Jr.

Ralph
00:01:13

Welcome to the show where we master your finances from a Christian perspective. I am your financial evangelist, and I just want to thank you for joining me today. And we'll remind you, if you missed yesterday's episode, we talked about should you always pay cash or is there a better way? So make sure to go back and check it out.
You can find all of our episodes at askralph.com. But yesterday, I packed it with some seriously practical advice and it's something you don't want to miss.

Now, if you've got a question that you'd like to have answers on the show, head on over to justaskralph.com and submit it. And I am all about helping you through your financial challenges, just like the question I'm about to read today. And don't forget. Every Tuesday, we go live at 1 PM Eastern time, where you can join us and we'll have a discussion. We'll talk about interesting things. We'll talk about questions that you have in the chat.
You get to that by going to askralphpodcast.com/live. Again, that's every Tuesday at 1 PM Eastern time. And you get to there by going to askralphpodcast.com/live.

Well, today's question is a doozy. We've got a heartfelt question from one of our listeners, and this is what she writes. She says this, she says, "Dear Ralph, I'm at my wits' end and I desperately need your help. My brother has been struggling with severe slot machine addiction for years. It started innocently enough, but now it's completely taken over his life. He's lost his job, he's lost his home, and even his family because of his addiction. Every time I see him, he looks more exhausted and defeated. He's borrowed money from everyone he knows, including me, and I'm afraid he'll never be able to pay it back. I'm torn between wanting to support him and feeling like I'm enabling his addiction. His gambling has not only affected him but also put a tremendous strain on our entire family.
My parents are heartbroken, and we're all living in constant fear of what will happen next. I'm terrified that one day, I'll get a call saying he's hurt himself or even worse. I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. How can we safeguard our family's wealth from the grip of slot machines while still supporting my brother? Please, Ralph, any advice would be greatly appreciated." And that was signed Sincerely, a Concerned Sister.

Now, let me just tell you A Concerned Sister, I can only imagine the heartbreak and the heartache and the worry you must be feeling. Your brother's struggle with slot machine addiction is not just about the financial loss.

That's a big part of it, but it's about this deep emotional toll it's taking on your entire family. And I get it. It's gut wrenching to see someone you'd love spiral out of control. You talked about that exhaustion, that defeat in his eyes. It's a pain that cuts deep. And I hear your heart. You want to help him, but you're also afraid of enabling his addiction. And it creates this constant battle that leaves you feeling helpless and it leaves you feeling torn. And you're right. I can only imagine the strain on your family. It must be immense. Like you said, your parents are heartbroken, and the fear of what might happen next is always lingering. Just waiting for that call. Somebody once said to me, it's like walking on eggshells. You never know when the next crisis is going to hit.

But I do have good news. You're not alone in this struggle because many families are dealing with the same pain and the same uncertainty because addiction doesn't just affect the individual. I wish it stopped there, but it ripples through the entire family, leaving everyone feeling overwhelmed and everyone find this desperate for solutions.
And sister, it's natural to feel helpless, but here's I want you to hear me. And I want you to hear me loud and clear. Remember there is hope. Even in the darkest times, there are steps you can take to protect your family's wealth and still support your brother. It won't be easy. It's not going to be simple.

The things we're going to talk about today show are going to be tough, but with the right resources, with the right guidance and with a lot of love, you can find a way forward. And I just want to revisit something you said, you talked about that fear of that phone call. And listen, that fear is real. The thought of something happening to your brother is absolutely terrifying.

I've felt that with people in my family. But here's the thing. Here's the key takeaway. Just as we get started, it is important to channel that fear into action. It's time to reach out for help, both for your brother and for yourself and your family. There are professionals and support groups that can help provide the guidance and the strength you need.

I'm going to talk about those later in the show. And here's the thing I want you to understand, and this is the beautiful part of your letter. Everybody might be thinking, well, this is a terrible letter, Ralph. But it's not. See, your concern for your brother's wellbeing, that's a testament to your love and dedication to him.

It is so clear to me as I read your letter that you want what's best for him even when it feels like there's no way out. And let me just tell you, that's the secret sauce because that love will be the driving force behind the steps that you take to help him and protect your family. And listen, it's okay to set boundaries.

It's a hard truth. A lot of people don't want to hear this, but sometimes the best way to support someone is to set those clear boundaries. It doesn't mean you love them any less. It means you're committed to their long term recovery and the wellbeing of your family. And let me just tell you, we're getting ready to go on a journey here.

This journey to recovery is going to be a long process. It's going to be challenging. But hear me on this. It's not impossible. I'm going to tell you about some steps and with each small step, you're moving towards a brighter future. So celebrate the victories, no matter how small they are and lean on your faith.

You're going to need that. And lean on your loved ones for strength. And like I said, remember, you don't have to go through this alone. There are countless resources. I'm going to talk about those in just a few minutes. There's counseling, there's professional support groups, and there are people that understand and there are people listening right now who are going through this or have gone through this.

And one of the big takeaways, and I start the show with this. Because your story is a powerful reminder that addiction affects us all. It just does. And like I said, it's not about that individual struggling. They've got their own demons. It's about the families who love and support them because that's the hard part and your willingness to share your pain is a beacon of hope for others who are listening and who are going through the same thing together.

So let's do me a favor. Let's do this. Let's walk through this together today. Today, we're going to talk about practical steps that you can take to safeguard your family's wealth, to seek spiritual guidance, and I'm going to help you find that emotional support. But more importantly, like I've said several times now, you're not alone and there is always hope.

And I wanted to get into the Bible today. So before we get into the main content, let's take a moment to reflect on a Bible verse that speaks directly to the issue of this and the dangers of greed. Because what we're really talking about is greed and stewardship. And this comes to us from the book of Timothy.

It's 1 Timothy chapter 6, verses 9 and 10, it says this. And this one is powerful. So get ready. "But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.

It's through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." Like I said, that is a tough verse. And this verse is a stark reminder of the dangers of chasing wealth. It speaks directly to it, that chase, that pursuit. So many of us find ourselves in that same position.

The verse warns us about the dangers of desiring to be rich. You know, a lot of people want to be rich and the temptations that come with it. So your brother's desire for quick riches through those slot machines has led him into a destructive cycle. And this cycle has not only affected his finances, but it's affected his relationship.

You were very clear about that. He's lost almost everything. And this verse speaks directly to that when it says, for the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. The love of money and that craving for quick wins has led your brother into webs of evil. It's caused pain for you, it's caused pain for him, it's caused pain for his family. And your whole family is suffering through this. And the thing I think about, that temptation of those slot machines, it's this false promise of wealth, those flashing lights, those thrill of near misses and the allure of easy money can be incredibly enticing. And your brother, just like others have fallen into that trap, believing that next big win is just around the corner, one more pull and I'm going to hit it.

And it leads to this cycle of chasing losses. And it's such a powerful and deceptive addiction. It's a snare. Because it starts for most people innocently. It's no big deal. The story I'm going to tell you in just a few minutes is going to be all about that. It starts innocently, but then it becomes this consuming force.

And I bet for your brother, it's probably the same thing. What seemed like a seemingly harmless pastime has now ballooned into this full blown addiction. It's ensnared your brother. It's caused all kinds of ruin. See, that pursuit of wealth through gambling can result in financial ruin. I've seen it happen so many times.

I want to tell you about some clients that have ruined themselves financially. It's strained relationships. It's caused divorce. It's called all kinds of separations in family. It's just this big bunch of emotional turmoil. And here's the big thing. And this is what the Bible verse is really speaking to.

That love of money can cause people to wander away from their faith. Because faith takes the backseat to the addiction. It's a distraction. It just makes them move away from their faith, move away from their family, and they just take on this unrighteous living. And I'm not judging your brother, but I guarantee if I was to go and look at your situation more closely, I guarantee your brother's focus on gambling has likely caused him to lose sight of his faith and the values that once guided him.

So not only is he in a financial crisis now, he is in a spiritual crisis. And think about what it said in that Bible verse, those many pangs. See that's the real life consequences of addiction. That constant worry, that fear of what might happen next, and that heartache felt by your entire family. You're sitting waiting for that phone call to come in that your brother's done something drastic.

Think about that. And your brother's living in that constant fear. Your whole family's living in there. And this verse is a call to action for those who are struggling with addiction. It truly is a call to action. I thought it was perfect for what we're talking about today because your brother's story and anybody else, listen, who's going through this with similar things, and I'm going to share some of those things in a moment.

It's time for your brother to seek professional help, to turn to his faith and find a path to recovery and restoration. But the most beautiful part of this verse, my key takeaway from this is this verse offers hope and guidance for those affected by addiction. Because here's a simple truth. By recognizing the dangers of greed and the importance of wise stewardship, we can find a way forward.

God promised he would never leave us nor forsake us. He's given us the Bible. He's given us his word. And so I'm going to encourage you sister, for you, and your family, this verse can be a source of strength, it can be a source of guidance, reminding you to stay grounded in your faith and take concrete steps to safeguard your wealth and support your brother's recovery. And that's exactly what we're going to handle today.

So today I am grateful for the guidance that the Bible provides us on stewardship and the importance of protecting our families from these pitfalls of greed. We all fall into these. This guidance is what helps us stay grounded and make wise financial decisions.
So let's start there. Let's get right to it.

Well, now let me get to that, get to that story I promised you. So picture this. Here's Melinda. She's a hardworking woman. She's built a comfortable life for herself and her son. She had gone through a divorce and she was the primary caregiver for her son who's a teenager at this point. She had a good job. She had a beautiful home and she worked hard. She had a savings account that she diligently built over the years. She wasn't one of these spendthrifts. She really was frugal. She managed her finances well, and she was known in her community for her generosity.

She was always there to help out when there was something going on in the community. When there's something going on at church, she was the person, she was the go to person. She had such a strong commitment to not only her son and her immediate family, but to her faith community. But unfortunately, one day Melinda discovered the allure of those slot machines.
And see, it started innocently enough for her, it was a visit to the casino with some girl friends of a few spins of the slots, they're celebrating somebody's birthday. She saw this flashing lights and those near misses and the sounds and the feel and the darkness and the bright lights and the strobe lights and all that just is a sensory overload.

And then that promise of quick riches, because she'd look to the side, the money be falling out of the machine and she'd look on the other side, the money's falling out of the machine. And that drew her in. And I hate to say this, but before long, Melinda was gambling her life savings away.

And it's truly a heartbreaking story. Because she's this lady, like I said, somebody who was always responsible. She always put her son first. It was all about Jake. Jake, make sure Jake was taken care of. She was planning for Jake's college years. I think at this point, he's about 17 years old. She'd made the plan.

She made sure he had a good life. She'd gone through a difficult divorce, but she said, I'm focused on doing this. But the grip of the slot machine and that addiction was just too strong. And she would spend hours at the casino. She was always chasing after that next big win. And that excitement of those near misses kept her hooked and a sensory overload of those lights and the sounds made it impossible for her to walk away because it's just one more pool.

Let me put 10 bucks more in, let me put 20 bucks more in, let me hit the ATM for 50 more bucks or a hundred more bucks because the big wind's coming. I know it. And I'm going to make everything right and everything's going to be great. But you know, it wasn't great. And the impact on Melinda's family on her son was devastating.

And here her son is high school senior planning to go to college. And he's seeing his whole life fall apart in front of him. His college funds were dwindling. He knew that things weren't good financially. The family savings were going away. It started off so innocently, but he would hear his mom carrying on about different expenses she couldn't afford to pay it. And that safety net that Melinda had worked so hard to build was completely gone. So yeah, Melinda's addiction affected her finances, but it also was devastating to her relationship with her son. Because to be honest with you, Jake stopped trusting his mom. And this was such a complete turnaround because the trust and stability that once find that family, those two were strong.

They were inseparable. It reminds me a lot of my relationship with my mother. Man, we were tight back then. And after the fact I heard about this, Jake says, you know, I noticed changes in my mom. Somebody that was always engaged, always asking me, Hey, what's going on in school? How about that girl you're dating?

What's going on with your football team or your baseball team? And now his mom had grown distant. She was always preoccupied. Somebody who was always cheerful. He used to say, he would say, mom always had a smile on her face. She was always cheerful, but now that demeanor had been replaced by a constant state of anxiety.

He told me she, she would just sit there and shake sometimes. And just her face was, you know, sunken in. She was just sad. So Jake tried to talk to his mom, but she would just brush him off. Oh, Jake, I don't have time for this right now. I got important things to handle. Kept telling him everything is fine. But see, Jake had lived with his mom since he was born.

Well, that's what most kids do, right? That's kind of a silly thing to say, but he knew his mom. And he knew something was wrong. He knew something was off. He could see that stress in his mother's eyes, that constant worry etched on her face. So I remember he told me about this story. One day he got home from school and he thought he'd help his mom out.

He felt like she was just really overwhelmed. He went into his mom's bedroom. He noticed that there would always be clothes in a basket on the floor. Always seemed to be these clothes on the floor. He said, you know what? I'm going to give mom some peace. I'm going to help her out. I'm just going to fold these things, fold these towels and just set them on the bed. So he's in his mom's room and he's going through the two or three baskets and he folded the towels and he folded the sheets. And he started getting into some of the clothes and he looks over at this bookshelf and he sees this stack of papers, all, you know, bound together with a rubber band.

And he's, you know, he's a curious guy, 17 years old. He's snooping, right? He grabs this and he noticed, Oh, there's an electric bill here. Stamped on the front past due. He goes down a little deeper. There's the water bill. Then he sees credit cards. He's thinking, what is going on here? Why are all these bills here?

Mom always pays them down at the desk in the rec room. He got a little deeper and then his heart stopped when he realized there was a letter from the mortgage company. And she'd already opened this one. So he opened up, he folded and he saw eviction notice. He was rocked to the core at this point. Jake didn't know what to do. Now, of course his mom wasn't there because she was out till 11PM that night on a bender at the slots. Now he's supposed to be getting ready for bed. He's still a high school senior. He's got to get ready to go to school in the morning, but he was determined that night he was staying up to see his mom.

And as soon as she walked through the door, he confronted her. He said, mom, you got to explain to me what's going on. Something's not right here. I just found all these bills. You're angry all the time. You always got this level of anxiety. I don't understand what's going on. And that's when his mom, Melinda broke down.

She just stood there and wept. And she confessed her addiction to Jake. She said, Jake, I don't know how to solve the problem. Those nights at the casino, the money that was lost, it was overwhelming for her. She had this strong sense of guilt. And that was the turning point for Melinda. Now I'm going to share how that all turned out later in the show, but right now I want to talk about how you can recognize the warning signs of gambling addiction, because I want you to be aware of these things. So here are some red flags to look out for in your own life.

One of the first ones that I think you need to look out for is what I call preoccupation. And that's this person is constantly thinking about gambling, planning their next gambling session, always talking about that big one, or what happened at the slots or what happened at the poker table or whatever that is, whatever.

I'm not just talking about slot machines. It could be lottery. It could be football pools. It could be all of those things. But if somebody is preoccupied and that's all they talk about, that's a red flag. Another thing you'll see is what's called increased tolerance. And that's where that person, it's just like alcoholism.

That little drink at first was enough, but this is where the person needs to gamble with increasing amounts of money to achieve that desired excitement because they don't get that dopamine high unless they're throwing it all onto the table. So watch out for that. Another one. And Jake saw this one.

And that's that irritability when attempting to do anything. And the person becomes restless. They become irritable when trying to stop that, you know, and Jake, looking back at it, shared with me, he says, I remember a couple of times when mom was just a bear and I couldn't understand why, but that was the night she didn't go out.

And looking back at it, he said, Ralph, I get it now. She was irritable because she was trying to break free of this addiction. It's a huge red flag. And another red flag is the escape from problems. Listen, most of the times, that person is gambling as a way to escape from problems or to relieve some sort of feeling of helplessness, feeling of guilt, anxiety, depression.

And I'll share with you later what that looked like for Melinda, but it had a lot to do with the divorce she went through. Another red flag to watch out for is chasing losses. That's where that person returns to gambling after losing money to get even. They got that one more chance. Ralph, I'm going to put one more dollar down.

I'm gonna tell you about a client I had, this has been probably 10 years ago. They had a great business going. They had maybe 20 or 30 employees. And I would do their bookkeeping every month. So I would get their bank statements. And all of a sudden, I noticed these ATM withdrawals at the local casino.

And I think, okay, well, they're out for some dinner date, whatever, you know, married couple, they didn't have any children. And then all of a sudden I noticed it just kept growing and growing. Then after a while it was every day, it would start off with a thousand dollar ATM withdrawal. And then a $500 ATM withdrawal, and then a $200, and this is all on the same day, then 100, 100, 100.

And then they would actually go somewhere else to like a gas station or to a local, we call them Wawa around here. That's like a convenience store and there'd be a couple of ATM withdrawals there. And next thing you know, after one year, I added it up because they came in and sat down with me because their business was failing.

They weren't making their payroll taxes. They weren't able to pay their personal income taxes. And they said, Ralph, we don't understand what's going on. And I ran some numbers and do you know, they had gambled away $150,000 in 12 months. And it all started with that first trip to the casino. And I'm not judging anybody that's going through this addiction.
But they were chasing those loss. Remember her saying to me that one of the parties that I'm talking about, she said to me, she says, Ralph, we would put another a hundred dollars in the ATM figuring, you know, we just dropped $2000, but you know, we'll put a hundred dollars in. We got to win. We've been playing the same machine for three hours.

Statistics show we're going to win. They're chasing those losses. Another big red flag to watch out for are lies and deception. And sister who wrote this letter to me today, I don't have your name. So I'm calling you sister. I apologize, but that's the name you gave. Because what happens is, and I'm sure you're experiencing this with your brother.

The person lies to family members, they lie to therapists, they lie to everybody. Because they're trying to conceal that involvement with that gambling or whatever that addiction be. This isn't just about gambling, it could be drugs, it could be all kinds of things. They lie about it because they don't want to be confronted about it.

And just like your brother experienced, and just like Jake experienced with his mom, it jeopardizes relationships. Because most of the time, when I see a situation like this, this person has jeopardized or lost significant relationships. Maybe it be with their spouse, with their family at the job or some kind of educational career opportunity because of gambling.
It was that invasive. It became everything. It became all they occupied their time with. And here's a huge red flag and why I talked about on today's show. Those financial bailouts. And I've seen this happen with so many clients because at some point, the addict, the gambler loses track of what they have.

They've lost everything. And just like you mentioned with your brother, they start relying on others to provide money, to relieve that desperate financial situation that's caused by gambling. They don't have any more. They've lost it all. And they have in their mind. Well, if I can just borrow a hundred dollars from my sister, I can go to the slots. Man, I can win that back. Or if I can borrow a hundred dollars from my mom, I'll go buy those lottery tickets cause you know, that Powerball is going to be 200 million tonight and I got to win. I play it all the time. I want to stop right now and make a plea. If you know someone who is struggling with gambling addiction, it is time to reach out for help.

And I'm going to share some resources in just a few minutes. You can also book a call with me by going to askralph.com for individual guidance. I can help you get through this. So those are the red flags to look for. Now let's talk about the financial impact on the family and some practical steps you can take to safeguard your family's wealth, because that's what it comes down to at this point.

What are some practical steps that you can take to safeguard your family's wealth. There's not much I can tell you about the emotional side. I'm going to give you some tips. I'm going to point you in a way, some therapy and some counseling you can get to, but I do have some things you can do financially to help prevent you and safeguard your wealth.

Now look, the first thing you've got to absolutely do is restrict access to money. You got to limit the gambler's access to cash and limit their access to credit cards. If this is your partner, if this is your spouse, you got to think about closing joint accounts, opening new ones in your name and the non gambling spouse or a trusted family member. You've got to stop the bleeding.

One of the best ways you can do that is to restrict their access to the money. If they don't have the money to gamble, now I'm gonna tell you the next step, because they're going to think of other things because this is just like a drug addiction. They need that high to survive. If not, they can't function. But the first financial step is to restrict access to the money. You got to basically put them on an allowance. Second thing, you're not going to like what I'm getting ready to say, and it's going to feel like you're living in a prison, but you've got to protect your valuables.

It's not a pleasant thing to talk about, but you've got to secure your valuable items like jewelry, any important documents, savings bonds, gold bars. If you have to, take and get a safe deposit box at a bank, if we still have any banks that have those, I know some around here have them. A lot of them don't have those anymore.

But you've got to move those to a place where they're not accessible by that gambler. Because once you stop that cashflow, the addiction's still there, and they're going to be looking for ways to fuel that addiction and they're going to steal stuff. They're going to take stuff. They're going to take it down to the pawn shop.

I don't know how many clients I've had say that everything ended up at the pawn shop. So you got to protect those values. Another thing you might want to consider is transferring assets. If you have a joint account and there's assets such as stocks, real estate, your home, life insurance policies, get them out of the name of that gambler.

Again, this is access to cash. This is access to resources. They are going to use it until they get this addiction solved. Which leads me to the next thing. You're going to have to manage their finances. If it's your spouse, you're going to have to take control of the household finances. You're just going to have to do it.

You're going to have to live through this process of paying the bills. Making sure they're paid, make sure nothing's hidden. You're going to review every single bank statement. You're going to review every single credit card statement, because if they've got an opportunity or an accessibility to that, they're going to use it.

So you're going to have to figure out ways to lock it down. And you're also going to have to make sure filing taxes. I want to just add a little note to this. A lot of times these folks will win occasionally. But if they're covering up these gambling losses, they're not going to tell you about the gambling wins either.

Most of the time, if it's over a certain amount, let's just say 600 bucks, the casino's gonna, actually, this is a whole tax issue. We got very emotional, but I wanna put this in. It is a very clear thing I can tell you to do. Pay attention to this because the IRS will actually issue or the casino, excuse me, will issue a 1099 for gambling winnings.

Actually, it's a W-2 G, not to get into the weeds, but that's taxable income to you. And if you don't put that on your tax return, you know, a year later, the IRS is going to come back and say, Hey, wait a minute, you had this. So pay attention to all the financial aspects, take hold of that, grab that thing and manage it yourself.

And as I talked about a little while ago, maybe you need to set up an allowance because this in a gambler still needs to have their needs met. If this is your husband or this is your wife, they're going to need to have money to live on. They got to buy fuel. They got to buy food, all those types of things.

So you're going to have to, it's kind of like dealing with a teenager. Like Jake. You know, when he first started, his mom first started in recovery, it was kind of the roles reversed. And mom used to give him a weekly allowance, now he's given his mom a weekly allowance. But you've got to do that because you've got to limit their access to funds that could be used for gambling because again, they will use it. And the last thing, very important financial thing to do is seek some financial counseling. Talk to a financial counselor and develop a plan. Because what I'm going to tell you next is that most of the time you're going to find there's a debt cycle. There's all kinds of debts.

There's all kinds of lack of savings. They may have blown through their retirement. You need to sit down with a professional, somebody like me. I'll talk to you later about how to do that, but you're going to have to work to rebuild that financial stability because it has been crushed. Like your letter today.

Everybody's stopping giving them money because it's affecting everybody financially. So those are the financial things and that's a big part, but I want to get to some spiritual things. This is a Christian finance show for a reason, because the truth is if you're going to get past this addiction, now I'm talking about the gambler and the people that are around them, because it's the same for everybody.

You're feeling the same things that they're feeling. Let's talk about some spiritual guidance. If you listen to me long enough, you know I always start with prayer well I think you've got to do the same thing here. You got to drop to your knees and ask God for guidance and ask Him for strength in overcoming this addiction.

You might not be the one going through the addiction, but let me tell you, you're going to experience, people who are listening right now are going, yeah, dude, I'm nodding my head as I'm driving, Ralph. You're right. You're going to need that guidance and that strength from God to not only get past that or overcome that but to restore your family's financial well being and your emotional well being. This is a great time to look to those biblical principles and I'll share some of those a little bit later. Study and apply biblical teachings on stewardship, on contentment. That's a big one because most of the time, persons chasing after that lack of contentment, or that danger of greed and covetousness. And also on your spiritual journey, don't forget to enlist the support of your church community.

Many churches have programs for this. They have small groups because this is something that is affecting a lot of people because the truth of the matter is you can become a gambler. You don't have to go to the casino anymore. You can do this right from your smartphone. You can be sitting on your couch and blowing through.

You could be the biggest whale gambler in the world from your smartphone. So do those things, seek that spiritual guidance through prayer, through biblical principles and connect with your church community. Now I promised to tell you a little bit about the spiritual concepts related to gambling. Now this is going to be a, it's going to be a controversial couple of things I'm going to say here.

A lot of people are going to say, Ralph, wait a minute, dude, you're being judgmental. No, I'm going right from the Bible, but these are some truths that I found because the Bible offers clear guidance on the dangers of gambling and the importance, and this is the other side of this. Like I really think you need to think about this.

It's not so much the dangers of gambling. It's the importance of responsible stewardship. So these might come at you from the wrong angle, but these are scripture based. First one is love for neighbor. You're going to say, Ralph, where are you going with this one? See, and Jesus commands us to love your neighbor as yourself.

That's right from Mark chapter 12, verse 31. Go check me on that. And see, gambling by its very nature is based on the losses of others. Hear me on that. Gambling, by its very nature, the structure of it is based on losses of others. Because here's a simple truth. For one person to win, another's got to lose.

That's just how it works. So many people got to put the coins in a slot machine for somebody to eventually win. A lot of people don't know this, but did you know the payout in most casinos is almost 90%? That's 90 percent of the first dollar gambled. I'm not going to take a dive there, but think about that.

The volume is they're paying out 90%. Think how much is coming in. And as a Christian, this creates a conflict with the Christian principle of love and compassion. It just does, because if somebody's got to win and another's got to lose, it encourages self interest over the well being of others. So think about that.

Think about how that was ingrained into you from when you were a child, if you were raised in the faith, love for your neighbor. Let's talk about work ethic because it goes here too. Because the Bible emphasizes the importance of work and earning a living through honest labor. Look at Proverbs chapter 31 and go read these when you have. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 and 1 Timothy 5:8. It talks in the Bible about the importance of that work ethic, that honest day's labor. But see, gambling doesn't do that. Gambling promotes the idea of getting something for nothing. And what does that do in my humble opinion, it undermines the value of hard work and diligence, because if you can just go to the casino, pull that lever for that slot machine, put that money down on blackjack or whatever that looks like for you, what hard is that?

What work is that? Now, some professional gamblers will tell you otherwise. But it undermines that work ethic. And here's the big one. It's that greed and covetousness. Because the Bible is full of warnings against the dangers of greed and covetousness. Look at Exodus chapter 20 verse 17. I'm going to encourage you to go read these.

I don't have time to cover them in today's show, but go read them. Get involved in this. 1 Timothy chapter 6 verses 9 to 10 like we talked about today. And see, gambling, it fuels
these vices. It fuels that greed. It encourages the pursuit of quick riches and that desire for material possessions at the expense of others.

Because we've already come to the point that if you're winning, somebody else is losing. Trying to get that money back. You're trying to get that stuff. Because that's where the high comes from. The high comes from when those bells start going off and the lights start flashing and you win, everybody's looking around like, well, wow, he won.

What did he do? What did he eat for lunch? I mean, some of the crazy stuff that these people come up with. How long were you sitting in the machine? You know, were you facing this direction? I mean, it's crazy. And the biggest biblical principle to it all is this one, that stewardship. Because if you listen to me, you know I say, it's not yours to begin with.

See, because God has called us to be good stewards of the resources He's entrusted to us. That's right from the book of Matthew, chapter 25, verses 14 to 30. Go read it. And gambling is nothing more than a reckless use of resources that can jeopardize our financial stability and hinder our ability to provide for our families and support those in need.
It just does. It becomes all consuming. It becomes everything you think about, everything you do. It's all focused on that next big win. So you've got to understand these spiritual concepts because these can provide a strong foundation for making better financial decisions and safeguarding your family as well.

So when you have to confront your spouse or you have to confront your family, your parents, I've got clients that have gone through that too. I'm not going to share that story because it's private. When you've got to confront your brother, if you've got scripture to back yourself up, that is a place of righteousness to stand.

Now this is a heavy episode. It's a lot of emotion and what we're talking about, but this is what is real. This is what truly is facing people. So I'm going to ask you. If today's episode has resonated you, if it resonated with you, if you felt the pain and you felt the struggling of gambling addiction or any other kind of addiction.

If you've felt that in your own life or in the life of someone you love, I urge you to take action. The first thing you can do is reach out and support those who are battling this addiction. Let them know they're not alone. Share this episode with them. It could be a lifeline they need to start their journey to recovery because that's where it needs to start.

One of the other things you can do is you can help us spread awareness about the dangers of gambling addiction and other addictions. Share this episode on social media platforms. Share it with your friends and your family and your faith community. Because the truth is the more people we can reach, the more lives we can touch and change for the better.

And then I'm going to ask you for one more thing. Would you consider supporting the show? Because your support helps us continue to create meaningful content that addresses real life issues just like this, just like that gambling addiction. But not from that secular perspective. From that Christian perspective. We talked about faith.

We talked about biblical things. We talked about the support. We talked about the hope. Because by supporting us, you're not just helping keep the show running. You're helping it to bring hope and healing to those who desperately need it. And if you feel called to do that, you just go to askralphpodcast.com/support. And you can see how you can be a partner with us. You can support the show, whether it be a one time support or a recurring support. I really encourage you to do this because every bit of support makes a huge difference. It allows us to reach more people, to be on more platforms, to build more content.

And if you're struggling with gambling addiction, or you know somebody who is, please, please hear me on this. Reach out for help. Don't let addiction continue to cause ruin and destruction, because that's where it's going to end up. You know, I talk about the journey. Well, I'm going to tell you right now, the destination of this is destruction and there are resources.

There are people who care and there is always hope. You can find helpful resources, support groups in the notes to this episode and in our blog posts. So don't wait, take the first step towards recovery today. And remember this. By sharing the show, by supporting the show, you're not just helping us. You're helping everyone who tunes in, who hears this message and who finds strength to overcome their struggles.

Maybe for them, it's not addiction. Maybe it's not gambling. Maybe it's breaking free of that living paycheck to paycheck, or that's trying to figure out how to get past to have a meaningful retirement. Because listen to me on this, hear me on this. Together, we can make a difference. So please share this episode, support our show and let's bring hope and healing to those affected by gambling addiction.

So I say, thank you for your support. May God bless you and your loved ones on your journey to recovery and financial wellbeing. Well, now let's talk about probably the most important part of dealing with this issue and that's emotional support.

We've talked about financial support. We talked about spiritual support. Now let's talk about emotional support. One of the biggest things you're going to need to do is develop a way of open communication. You're going to have to create a safe and supportive environment for honest conversations about the addiction and its impact on the family.

You got to be willing to say what it is. You got to say to your brother, you're destroying our family. You've destroyed your family. You're destroying our finances. You're wrecking your mom and dad. You're doing all those things. That's the first thing. Second thing, get professional help. You're not going to do this yourself. Get professional help for you, get professional help for the gambler and everybody that's been affected by it.

Those professionals can help address those emotional and psychological effects of the addiction, because they will be there and until you get them worked on, they're just going to stay there. One of the things I can highly encourage you to do is get involved in support groups. There's Gamblers Anonymous, there's Gam-Anon to connect with others who understand the challenges of gambling addiction and the recovery.

I'm going to give you a couple of resources and these will be in our blog and in our show notes as well. There's hotlines. There's the National Problem Gambling Helpline. That's at 1-800-GAMBLER. It's an easy one to remember. There's support groups. There's Gamblers Anonymous like I said. Gam-Anon and SMART Recovery.

There's websites, the National Council on Problem Gambling, The Division on Addiction's Website, Gambling Therapy, and Gamtalk. And with all of those, there are financial resources that you can find. You don't want to be a statistic. Let me tell you about some real life examples. As if you didn't know already what this does to people.

Let me just throw a couple at you. One example is Jennifer Dennison, somebody I read about online. She's a Florida woman. She won $14 million at the slots. I'm not sure what kind of slots that was, must've been one of those progressive deals that just keeps going up and up and up. But picture this.

She won $14 million at the slots. But she gambled it all away. I don't know what kind of timeframe that was. She gambled it all away and then resorted to stealing from her in-laws to fuel her addiction. She robbed her husband's family.

Think about that. She won $14 million. That wasn't enough. See, that's the dirty little secret to this. It's never going to be enough. It's always going to be that next win. I can do it one more time. I can win this time. Completely lost it all. Another story. Kathleen Wilkinson is a grandmother from Montana.

She lost her life savings of 50 grand playing social casino games on her smartphone. I read this online. Man, I was like, wow, this is what I was talking about. Grandmom can sit on her couch, with her smartphone and gamble away her life savings. So these things can affect you. They will affect people. You don't even realize people that are going through this.
And I just wanted to highlight the destructive power of these slot machines. This addiction, this gambling addiction. And why it's so important to get help and take steps to protect yourself cause that's the thing. The gambler is on their own a little bit. You got to do the things to protect yourself.

That's why I mentioned those things today.

Now, as you know, I always write a blog post. Today's blog post has a ton of references in it. It talks about the impact of gambling addiction on families. I got some practical steps there, ways to, you know, to garner some support for your family, some insights.

I'm going to encourage you to go check it out. You get to that by going to askralphpodcast.com/blog. There's actionable advice there. There's some inspiring stories recovery, and a comprehensive list of resources and support groups that can help you and your loved ones. It's an absolute resource.

I'm going to encourage you to share, just like I say, share the show, share that resource with them again, because if you want to gain deeper understanding of gambling addiction, you want to learn how to protect your family. Listen to this episode, share with somebody, but read our blog post today. Well I promised you, I'd revisit Melinda's story about her and Jake.

So you might be saying, Ralph, I would love to know what happened. Well, here's what happened. And as I said, Melinda came to that point, she broke down in front of her son, the roles got reversed. But the best part of that is Melinda realized she couldn't do this alone anymore and she needed help. And her and Jake, they got together, they got professional help.

They joined a support group for gambling addiction. She joined the one for the gambler and Jake joined the one for the family member that's going through it. She hunkered down. She got back to her church. She got back to faith. She was honest with people. She told people about the struggle. She sought guidance.

She sought strength and support from her church community. They were willing to support her. She was the one that was always there to support them. And with their support, Melinda was able to start rebuilding her life. It wasn't overnight and she implemented financial safeguards.

She transferred some stuff. As soon as Jake turned 18, she transferred some things to his name because she wanted to make sure that she didn't have that urge to go use those assets. She lived on a strict budget to manage her finances. And I'd love to tell you that the road to recovery was easy, but it was not, it was difficult.

It was not easy. And Melinda had to face some really tough consequences for her actions. She had gone through her emergency fund. She had blown up her credit cards. She had financial ruin. It had strained her relationship with her son. He didn't trust her as much, but Melinda was one of these people that was determined to make things right and she wanted to rebuild that trust and she wanted to build that stability back with her son and the rest of her family. And she was able to do it. It took time. She had to go get a second job to build up that savings fund and to pay off that debt. And like I said, she transferred all the assets to her son.

And as I know today, they're still kind of in that weird relationship where he kind of manages his mom's finances because she doesn't trust herself. But here's the thing, her story is a testament to the power of seeking help and turning to faith. And those are my two big takeaways today. Seek help and turn to your faith.

And she was able to rebuild her life. She was able to reconnect with her son and she was able to restore the trust and stability that her family had once known. Her son needed this. He was going into college. He needed that. He needed that stability from mom. And like I said, it wasn't easy, but with her determination with support and a strong foundation in her faith, Melinda was finally able to overcome her addiction and start to build her family back to where it was before.

So the truth is, as we end our show today, I'm going to get to some other things here in a second, but slot machine addiction can have a devastating impact on families. It can. If you're going through it right now, I pray for you. I wish you God's speed in recovering from this. But that's what I'm talking about.

You're going to have to get God's help. You're going to have to find the right resources because it is possible to overcome this challenge. It's possible to safeguard your family's wealth. And if you do the things I talked about today, if you put in place those financial safeguards, if you seek that spiritual guidance and you provide emotional support, you can help your loved one break free from the grip of addiction.

But more importantly than that, you can restore your family's financial and emotional wellbeing. Remember this, the journey to recovery is not easy. It's not going to be simple. But with faith, with perseverance and the support of loved ones, you can find healing and restoration. Now I usually do some reflection questions today, but we just covered too much today.

I'm not going to do that. But here's one thing I will say to you to reflect on. Reflect on, if this is going on in your life, what can you do to change the dynamic? What does that look like in your family? So just think about that. Reflect on that. I just want to say thank you for joining me for today's show.

I know it was heavy, but I felt like God had put on my heart to talk about this today because I've seen the financial, the spiritual and the emotional toll that this has put on people. When I got this listener question, I said, you know what, Ralph, you got to do this. But I'm going to encourage you to join us tomorrow as well, because tomorrow we're going to talk about something completely different.

We're going to be talking about which retirement expenses should you never cut corners on. I'm going to lay those things out that it doesn't make any sense to get corners on in retirement. And remember this as I close today. My passion is to help you achieve financial success. I want to see you live out your dreams and I want to see you grow in your faith.
And I know together, working together, and I told you how you can work with us. We can master your finances from that Christian perspective. We can overcome those addictions and there is hope. So stay financially savvy out there and may God bless you abundantly.

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