Do I love the world and my stuff too much? Are your affections set on this world and not on your heavenly home?

Host Ralph
00:00:00

Have you ever looked around your house and felt truly overwhelmed by all your stuff? Does your heart skip a beat when the latest iPhone is released or when that new car commercial comes on TV? Listen, you're not alone in this struggle. I got the same struggle you've got. Well today, we're exploring a critical question that could transform both your financial future and your spiritual walk. And here's the question.

Are your affections set too much on this world rather than your heavenly home? Well stay tuned as we unpack this together and discover practical steps if you feel like you're that way too, to shift your perspective from temporal to eternal. This is going to be a life-changing show.

Announcer
00:00:47

Welcome to the Ask Ralph podcast where listening to an experienced financial professional with over 30 years of experience can help you make sense of confusing questions, current headlines and industry trends about taxes, small business, financial decision making, investment strategies, and even the art of proper budgeting. Ask Ralph makes the complex simple by sharing his real world knowledge from a Christian perspective with all things financial.

Now here's your Host, Ralph Estep Jr.

Host Ralph
00:01:16

I want to personally thank you for joining me today. Your commitment to growing both financially and spiritually means the world to me. And I appreciate the trust you put in me being your guide. Now yesterday, if you missed the show, we talked about 11 powerful tips for breaking free from living paycheck to paycheck and how to truly build wealth.

So if you missed that episode, I definitely want you to check it out. We walked through some essential steps, like tracking your cash flow patterns and analyzing your income versus expenses that can help you break free of that debt cycle and break free and moving beyond that living paycheck to paycheck. So I'm going to encourage you to check it out.

Now today's question comes from Christine in Atlanta, and this is what she writes. She says, "Ralph, I've been tossing and turning at night, overwhelmed by the weight of my possessions and what they say about my walk with Christ. My three-bedroom house is bursting at the seams, closets stuffed with clothes I barely wear, a garage so full I can't park my car inside, and Amazon packages arriving almost daily. While I faithfully tithe 10% of my income,

I feel this gnawing conviction that I'm failing God with my spending habits. Last Sunday, our pastor preached about storing up treasures in heaven, and I felt like he was speaking directly to me. I make good money, but instead of using it to advance God's kingdom, I'm trapped in this cycle of endless consumption. Every time I scroll through social media or walk through Target,

I find something else that I need. The worst part? Even though I have all this stuff, I feel emptier than ever. I know we're supposed to seek first His kingdom, but my actions show that I'm seeking the American dream instead. How can I break free from this materialistic mindset and start viewing my resources through an eternal lens? I need help aligning my spending with my faith, but I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I wonder, what kind of witness am I to non-believers when my life looks just like theirs? I want to be different. I want my financial choices to reflect my faith, but right now, I feel like I'm failing at both managing my money and honoring God with it. Can you help me find a way forward?" Christine, that is probably one of the best messages I've ever received from a listener. And listen, I can feel the struggle that you have and listen, it's both an emotional and a spiritual struggle. And many of us share the same thing. I think other listeners are saying yes Christine, I feel the same way. Because you desire to align your financial decisions with your faith. But here's the best part.

I've got some great answers for you today, so I hope you stick around. Now your question was a great question, and this show thrives on these questions. But today, I want to ask you some questions. I've built a listener survey because I really want listeners to give me your honest opinion about the show. And listen, it's going to take less than five minutes. And for everybody that completes the survey, you're going to have a chance to win a $250 Amazon gift card right in time for Christmas. Now you get to the survey by going to askralphpodcast.com/survey and listen. Your answers are going to shape the show.

The decisions that we make about where the show goes are going to be based on the answers we get in those surveys. Now, if you want to compete in the contest for that $250 gift card, I need your survey results posted no later than the 10th of December at midnight, because we're going to draw that lucky person's name on the 11th. And again, I want to hear from you. Go to askralphpodcast.com/survey. We're getting close to the date. So again, that's askralphpodcast.com/survey.

Now Christine, your struggle resonates with so many of us. You said you were there in church and the pastor's speaking to you. Christine, I got to be honest with you. I think you were speaking to me today. I'm sure a lot of people are thinking the same thing. And it reminds me of a powerful verse from Matthew's gospel. And it comes from Matthew 6, that's 6:19-21. And it says this. And I've used this on the show before, and I'm sure you've heard it, but really resonate with this. Meditate on this.

It says this, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Christine, I don't know about you, but I think that verse says it all, doesn't it?

Well guess what? It's time for Ralph to share again. And I want to share something that changed my entire perspective on this issue. And I want to say it was about 10 years ago. I was sitting in my garage, surrounded by boxes of stuff I hadn't touched in years. It felt like we moved them from house to house, but I didn't know what it was in the boxes. And then all of a sudden something profound hit me.

I looked at those boxes and I thought, I always thought these possessions would bring me happiness. But when I thought about it, you know what they were actually doing, they're actually weighing me down. They weighed me down financially cause I spent this stuff. And they were weighing me down spiritually.

And I was living what I now call the American dream deception. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but it truly was that. It was the American dream deception. So many of us deal with this. This belief that accumulating more stuff. Gotta have this, got to have that. You know, that belief that somehow would fill this God shaped void in my heart. Have you felt that? And the truth is when I thought about it, I was viewing my money through the wrong lens entirely. So here's a truth bomb for you. I drop these every once in a while.

We are called to be good stewards and listen to what I'm saying here. We're called to be good stewards, not owners. We don't own this stuff. We're called to be good stewards, not owners of everything God provides.

Now meditate on that for a second. We're not owners of the stuff. We're stewards of it. God provided this to us. And as I meditated on it, it changed me, and it changed my heart. Now I'm still a work in process. I still have those same urges. But I wanted to share today what I learned through that experience, and I've got some practical steps for you to help you get past that as well. So Christine, I hope you hear these, and I hope you make these profitable. I hope you put these into practice. The first thing you've got to do.

As an accountant, we do audits. We look at somebodies financials, make sure they're accurate, test them, all that kind of stuff. So the first thing you need to do in this area is conduct what I call a heart audit. Start by asking yourself why you buy what you buy. I was doing some texting with a friend of mine that has another podcast. And he said something funny.

He said, Ralph man, you squash me the other day with your episode. And I said to him, what do you mean by that? And he says, man, you like hit me between the eyes. He says I've always done the right things he said, but I never thought about why I buy what I buy. Ask yourself. Do you buy things to impress others?

Listen, I've been there. I bought a brand-new Corvette because man, I wanted to roll down the road like a big chief, you know, everybody looking at me. But man, that's not a heavenly mindset to have. So if you're buying stuff to impress others, stop. And then the other question is, are you doing it to fill an emotional void? So many of us suffer with that.

We're trying to fill that emotional void, that lack of that relationship with Christ maybe or whatever that is. And here's the truth. By conducting this heart audit, the truth is understanding your motivations. Why you buy what you buy? Are you impressing others? Are you trying to fill a void? A lot of people like me, I'm an overeater. Guess why I do that? Probably psychological thing. But understand your motivations is crucial for change. You're never going to change until you understand your motivation. So first one conduct that heart audit.

Number two. Practice intentional gratitude. I think if I look back at 2024 on the show, I think one of the main things I've talked about, and it's something that's a journey I'm on myself, is practicing that intentional gratitude. And I encourage you. Begin each day by thanking God for three things you already have.

Because we have so much. But do we really think about what we have? No. So we get on social media or we go shopping, see all these things we don't have. We got to have them we think to ourselves. But if you start by thanking God for three things you already have, it's going to shift your focus away from what you want. And you're going to start to see that you've already been blessed with so many things.

But if you don't meditate on that intentional gratitude and I encourage you, literally, write three things, start a gratitude journal. I've talked about this on the show before. Write down three things every day that you're grateful for. It works for me. And I would tell your mind will shift and you'll start to see how blessed you truly are. So that's number two, practice intentional gratitude.

Let's look at number three. And that's what I'm going to call implement the 48 hour rule. Now I know a lot of times I've said before, it's a 24-hour rule, but I'm starting to grow in this area. And I think we may need to extend that out a little bit. I'm not sure 24 hours is long enough. So really think about that 48-hour rule.

So you're asking, what is Ralph talking about? For any non-essential purchase over a hundred bucks, wait 48 hours before buying it. And you might be saying, why does that make any sense? Well, it breaks that cycle of impulsive spending. It gives you time to pray about the purchase. You just have to pause for 48 hours. I don't know 24 hours is long enough anymore. And here's the problem. There will be like Amazon and online shopping. It's so easy to make those impulsive purchases. I was reading an article in the local newspaper, telling about couch shopping. Hey, I'm guilty of it.

We all do it. We're scrolling through our phones. We can basically buy whatever we want and have it delivered at our house. Many times in 24 hours and with Amazon sometimes same day. But I think if you implement that 48-hour rule, you might break that cycle impulsive spending and just make that the rule. Listen, if it's more than a hundred dollars, even if you've got to set a timer on your phone, wait 48 hours. Because what I think you're going to find at least what I find is you don't really need that. Maybe that's something you wanted.

So that's number three, implement that 48-hour rule. And I'm not going back on when I said, I say 24 hours is a minimum, but I like 48 hours even more, especially with being able to buy stuff right from your house on your couch. So let's look at number four. And this is what my buddy in the podcast and kind of was talking about. And it's what I'm saying here is create a kingdom first budget.

You know, develop that plan that prioritizes giving and eternal investments over these temporal pleasures. And we're surrounded by temporal pleasures. And I'm not saying don't enjoy your life. I'm not saying don't enjoy the fruits of your labor. That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm a capitalist. I believe in that. But I think if you really want to get past, Christine, what you're talking about your questions, how you want to get past that feeling. If you set aside money for giving first, that is a great way to start.

One of the things that a listener said, they said, Ralph, why don't you talk about what they called an internal impact category in your budget? Put a line item right there that says these are things I'm spending that make eternal impacts. And what you're going to find, it's going to transform your world, is you're going to limit discretionary spending on those temporal items because you want to fund those eternal impact items. Put those into your budget. Put those into your intentional spending plan and create that kingdom first budget.

You've been blessed with so much. I've been blessed with so much. Well figure out ways to build it and give it back for benefiting the kingdom. So that's number four, create that kingdom first budget. Now my wife is going to love this one because she is a minimalist. And number five is declutter with purpose.

Start removing items from your life that don't align with your eternal purposes. Think about that for a second. If you've got something in your life that doesn't align with your eternal purposes, it's time to declutter, it's time to get rid of it. And here's another challenge. For every new item you bring in, remove two items and donate them to someone in need. If you do that, that transformation will be remarkable.

I've done it in my own life and the transformation for me was remarkable. Think about that for a second. For every one item I bringing, I got to purge too, and I got to give them to somebody in need. And as I began implementing these strategies myself and Christine I'm going to encourage you the same thing. I discovered that true financial freedom isn't about having more. It really isn't. It's about needing less and giving more. Let me say that again. True financial freedom isn't about having more. It's about needing less and giving more.

And when you do that, you will find that your relationship with both God and money improved dramatically. And listen, I'm talking about myself. This is preaching to my own self today. I learned the whole possessions loosely and prioritize eternal investments. And that's the key to this whole thing. If you really want to break free of that feeling, that you're not really living for the kingdom, this is the way to do it. And I'm going to share some action steps that you can put to practice today in just a few minutes because you know I always say this. Intentions are great. But intentions are useless unless you put them into action. So let me ask you this. And this is like the best segue I can have here. Cause we're in the Christmas season. We're in that holiday shopping season. And maybe you're thinking about it. Maybe you're losing sleep wondering how you're going to afford everything on your holiday list this year. First of all, examine that list. Is it really necessary?

And maybe you're saying Ralph, I'm so sick and tired of starting every new year, buried under a mountain of holiday debt. These credit cards, I maxed them out. I want everybody to have this magical Christmas. I want those memories to last forever. Spoiler alert right now, the stuff you give them is not going to create those magical Christmas memories. It's just not going to. So what did I do? I wrote a guide. My whole point of my guide was to help give you peace of mind. And the name of my guide is called Surviving The Holidays Without Going Broke. Now as part of that guide, I talk about a budget system that actually works.

I share some smart shopping strategies that will help you slash your costs. I talk about ways to create those magical memories without maxing out your credit cards. In fact, I talk about ways to create this without spending a dime.

Another big component of that is teaching kids gratitude in this gimme more world. I talked about gratitude today. We got to teach our kids that same thing. We've got kids growing up right now in this gimme more world and listen, it's not their fault. They're surrounded by it. They see it on social media. They see it on these advertisers on television, all those things. They're surrounded by it.

But you can help them with that gratitude journal. Those three things they're grateful. Maybe that's, as a family is sitting down at breakfast or you do it at dinnertime and talk about, go around the table. Talk about what you're grateful for but make it a daily thing.

And then finally I round out my guide by talking about how to keep faith and family at the center of your celebration, because that's the key to the thing. It's not about stuff. It's not about the gifts that you're giving, because listen, if we're going to be honest, the greatest gift that we'll ever receive as a Christian is that relationship and that salvation from Christ. We've already gotten the greatest gift. If you don't know Christ, I'm going to encourage you to seek him out today.

But don't let January's credit card bill steal that holiday joy. Because they will, if you let your credit cards get maxed out to have this glorious, beautiful, what I call snapshot holiday, because they don't show you the other side of that when you're scrolling through social media. Oh, look what this one got.

Look on it. They'll show you the credit card debt or the decisions they make that they didn't tithe that month. They didn't put those things into that eternal category. Well you'll get my guide by going to askralphpodcast.com/christmas, and I encourage you to get it and make this your most meaningful and affordable holiday season yet.

Yes. Your stress-free holiday season can start by going to askralphpodcast.com/christmas. Again, that's askralphpodcast.com/christmas. Now I promise you, I'm going to share some action items with you. But it's Sunday and I want to pray together. So let's pray. Heavenly Father, I ask You to guide us as we navigate this holiday season. Help us remember that our true treasure lies not in earthly possessions, but in Your eternal kingdom. Give us wisdom to be good stewards of the resources You've blessed us with.

See, You've already given them to us. Lord, help us to see those, help us to be grateful for those. Lord, when we feel pressured by worldly expectations and material desires, remind us of your son Jesus, whose humble birth we celebrate at Christmas. He is the reason for the season. That's a cliche thing to say, but it's true. Grant us discernment to distinguish between wants and needs, and the strength to resist impulse spending, and impulse purchases that lead us away from You. We pray for contentment with what we have and generous hearts to share with others. Help us create meaningful memories that honor You without falling into debt. May our spending reflect our faith, and may our celebrations keep Christ at the center. Transform our perspective from temporal to eternal and help us store up treasures in heaven rather than on earth. Show us how to use our resources to advance Your kingdom and bless others. I asked this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Well I promised you some actionable steps. And here I go. This week, I challenge you to do this. Number one. Take a physical inventory of one room in your house. That's all I'm asking. One room in your house. And figure out, do you really need this stuff? And if you're not using it, declutter it. Give it to somebody who could use it. Second thing. List three ways, I'm asking you to do that this week, lists three ways you can redirect your resources towards eternal purposes.

Three ways. You got resources. God has, like I said before, you don't own them. God has asked you to steward them. Well, how can you direct them towards eternal purposes? Number three. I encourage you to do this, this week. Create a giving plan that stretches your faith, not just the simple things you said, Christine, in your letter, you said, I give that 10%.

Well Christine, maybe you need to reach beyond that. Maybe the Lord is saying to you, I want you to stretch. I want your family to stretch. So create that giving plan that stretches your faith. And number four. I really want you to do this. I want you to share this message with someone who might be struggling with similar issues.

And listen, let me tell you right now. That's what I do for a living. I deal with people's finances. There are so many people that are dealing with this same struggle. And I hope today's show, I hope today's message has reached you. And if it has, I encourage you. Just send them a link to askralph.com and say, listen, here's a show Ralph did. It impacted me. And I would encourage you to listen to it. And I'll be eternally grateful for that. Now, tomorrow we're going to exploring, listen to this, 19 practical steps, yes, 19 to help you overcome saving shortfalls, especially in your early 50s. During your early 50's, or even before that, I want to talk about 19 practical steps to overcome those saving shortfalls.

This is when you don't want to miss because I'm going to show you no matter what your age, you could be 25, 35, 45, 55, I'm going to show you how to catch up on your retirement savings while maintaining what we talked about today, that kingdom perspective. Remember this.

My passion is to help you achieve financial success. That's why I share what I share. I put a lot of stuff out here about personal stuff, because guess what? We're all on this journey together. I want to see you live out your dreams. I want to see you grow in your faith. Because you can do both. You can live your dreams and grow in your faith at the same time. And I know together we can master your finances from that Christian perspective. This is why I do what I do. And I hope it's making an impact. So as I always end this show, I'm going to encourage you to stay financially savvy out there and may God bless you abundantly.

Announcer
00:24:10

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