How can I manage my anxiety by using my faith?

[00:00:00] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Have you ever felt like your worries were consuming you? Like you were drowning in a sea of anxiety, unsure how to keep your head above water. What if I told you that the answer to managing your anxiety might actually be closer than you think? Well, stay tuned today as we dive into how faith can be your lifeline in turbulent times.

[00:00:29] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Well, let's start by taking a look back at yesterday's show. Yesterday, we tackled the question, “Should I have joint accounts with my children or rely on a power of attorney?” If you missed it, I wanted you to go back and listen to it because I explored the pros and cons of both options, and I shared some personal experiences that just might save you from a financial headache down the road. Well, let's get to today's show. As always, I love hearing from you. If you've got a question, just go to justaskralph.com and send in your question today. And today's topic comes from a listener question.

[00:01:05] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Here's today's question from Mary in Milwaukee. Now that rhymes, but hey, that's where it's from. And she writes this.

[00:01:11] Ralph Estep, Jr.: "Hey, Ralph, I've been struggling with anxiety lately, especially when it comes to my finances. As a small business owner, the ups and downs of the economy keep me up at night. It seems like it's a weekly struggle to meet payroll and the truth is there are many weeks when I even wonder if I'll be able to pay myself. It's hard. I know as a Christian, I should trust God, but it's so hard when the bills are piling up. How can I manage my anxiety using my faith? I feel like I'm letting God down by worrying so much."

[00:01:43] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Well, listen, Mary, I want you to know you're not alone in this struggle. And your question hits close to home for me because there was a time in my life when I found myself sinking into a deep depression. I was overwhelmed by financial worries and uncertainty. It was a dark time. But it was during that time that I discovered the power of scripture to lift me up and calm my anxious heart.

[00:02:11] Ralph Estep, Jr.: And this leads me directly to Philippians 4:6-7. And it says this. And this one provided me with so much reassurance. It says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Now, Mary, this verse reminds me that God is always there. He's always ready to listen to us. He wants to hear about our worries. But the biggest thing he wants to do is he wants to grant us peace.

[00:02:58] Ralph Estep, Jr.: But you might be asking, Ralph, how do we put this into practice when anxiety feels overwhelming? And listen, I get it. A few years ago, I found myself in a situation just like yours, Mary. The economy had taken a downturn.

[00:03:15] Ralph Estep, Jr.: My accounting business was struggling. Bills were piling up. It seemed like clients were canceling appointments; they were canceling services. And the truth is I felt like I was failing. I wasn't failing just me. But also my family, my wife, and my two boys. Each night, I try to go to sleep, but I'd lie awake. My mind is racing with these worst-case scenarios. I remember one particularly rough night, and it was like I had hit rock bottom. I just lost a big client. I was worried sick about how I was going to make ends meet. I remember I got up and went down to sit at my desk at 3:00 AM in the morning. I had this big pile of unpaid bills.

[00:03:57] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I had a pile of bank statements I needed to go through. I saw my bank balances dropping. And it led me to a moment of desperation. That's truly what it was. I looked across my desk, and on the bookshelf was my Bible. And I pulled that Bible out. I flipped through the pages. And my eyes fell on Psalm 55:22. And listen, this was ordained. There is no doubt in my mind cause I was at the end of my rope. And Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Now listen, the truth is at that point in my life, I'm not sure how righteous I was. But those words hit me like a ton of bricks. And I finally realized that I'd been carrying all my burdens alone and that I had it all on my shoulders. Now my wife helped the kids were, you know, supportive and all that kind of thing.

[00:04:55] Ralph Estep, Jr.: But what I was missing was I was forgetting that God was there, and he was ready and willing to help me. And that night marked the beginning of a transformation in how I dealt with my anxiety. For me, that meant starting a new routine. So every morning, before I even checked my emails or looked at my to-do list, I spent time in prayer and scripture reading. I focused on verses that reminded me of God's faithfulness and provision. I actually remember going out and buying one of those daily prayer books and daily reading books. I found verses like Matthew 6:26, which says this: "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" And listen, I made this a daily habit. And when I did, I noticed a change. Now, listen, it didn't disappear overnight. That anxiety. It didn't work like that. But what it did was over time, and with every day getting in the word and thinking on these things, that anxiety became more manageable. What it really did was that I found myself approaching challenges with a calmer mindset.

[00:06:05] Ralph Estep, Jr.: That's what it really was. It was a mindset. I was trusting that God would provide a way, even if I couldn't see it, even if I didn't see the answer. That was the starting point, but it didn't just stop there. I realized that while my faith was crucial, I also needed practical tools to help me manage my anxiety because, guess what? We are flesh. That's when I picked up a book by Dale Carnegie, called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living."

[00:06:33] Ralph Estep, Jr.: And now listen. I am not telling you to replace reading that book with the Bible by any stretch. Start your day in the Bible. Start your day in the word. But if you're looking for some practical ways to give you some additional compliments, this is a great book. And the thing is, it complimented my faith journey beautifully because he was able to offer a concrete strategy that tackles that worry head-on. I ended up going to Dale Carnegie's course and listen; it was a game-changer for me. So now let me share with you some of the main points from Carnegie's book that I found particularly helpful.

[00:07:10] Ralph Estep, Jr.: These were the things that made my life easier, and it made it easier to manage that anxiety. And the first thing. Leaving what he calls day-tight compartments. What does that mean? It means focus on today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. And think about it. That aligns perfectly with what Jesus was teaching in Matthew 6:34. The scripture says this. "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." He goes on to further say, "Each day has enough trouble on its own." But if you live in those day-tight compartments and focus on the here and now and focus on today, it will help you get through that anxiety. The second thing. This is something I live by every day. That is defined as the worst-case scenario, and we accept it. Think about the worst possible outcome of a scenario. And say, you know what, that's what it's going to be. Once you face those fears head-on, you go into working to improve the situation.

[00:08:11] Ralph Estep, Jr.: What can you do to change it? What are the dynamics involved? How can you make it better? How can you not have that worst case? Well, you've already accepted it. This is going to be the worst case. So, for example, let's say for me it was, I'm going to accept that I'm going to lose my biggest client. I have to make that exception. That's going to be the worst-case scenario.

[00:08:30] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Now, what can I do to improve upon that situation? Do I call them, do I go meet with them? Do I sit down with them? Maybe that relationship was lost. So maybe the way I can improve is to find five other clients. And it reminded me of Job's faithfulness. Think about that from the Bible in the face of losing everything. Job maintains that faithfulness. So, define that worst-case scenario and accept it. Another thing I'm going to encourage you to do is busy yourself with the right things. The truth is, I have found that worry often comes from being idle.

[00:09:05] Ralph Estep, Jr.: It comes from that idleness. So, we've got to find productive ways to channel our energy. Maybe that's serving others or working on solutions to your problems. Listen, to sit idle and just worry is going to get you nowhere, is going to make things worse, it's going to take you to that dark place. I found myself at 3:00 AM in the morning. Staring at a pile of bills, staring at those statements, and worrying about what was going to happen next.

[00:09:32] Ralph Estep, Jr.: And here's the fourth thing. Don't fuss about trifles. In all things, ask yourself this very simple question. Will this matter in a year's time? Just ask that question. Will this particular issue matter in a year's time? The truth is, if not, it's probably not worth worrying about. And listen, that was freedom for me. That was revolutionary for me because it helped me prioritize my concerns and focus on what truly mattered. If it didn't, if it's not going to matter in a year, then it really doesn't matter at all. Another thing he recommends, and this is number five on my list, is to use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Yeah, that might sound like a betting thing, but the law of averages says him because the thing is here; most of the things that we worry about never happen. We come up with these ridiculous ideas that this is going to happen, and this is it.

[00:10:25] Ralph Estep, Jr.: And we draw these pictures in our mind of these crazy scenarios. That is never going to happen. It makes us think about focusing on God's playing. Remember Jeremiah 29:11. The word says this: I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. So think about that: do use low averages to outlaw those worries. God's got this. He's got a plan for us.

[00:10:59] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Number six, right from the book, cooperate with the inevitable. The truth of the matter is that some things in life are beyond our control. They just are; you're not going to be able to control them for a long time. I thought I could control others. I could control my wife. I can control my children.

[00:11:16] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I could control my clients. Well, guess what? You finally come to a realization. Ted. There are a lot of things that are beyond our control. And when you accept this, listen; you are going to find peace. Look at Proverbs 19:21. It says “Many are the plans in a person's heart. But it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.”

[00:11:39] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Think about that for a second. It's the Lord's purpose that prevails. You know, some things are just beyond our control, and if we can accept this, we can have peace. And last but certainly not least. Put a stop-loss order on your worries. And that's very much a financial thing. When you're dealing in stocks, you might call your broker and say, listen, if that stock falls to a certain amount, sell it.

[00:12:07] Ralph Estep, Jr.: That's your, what we call a stop loss. Someone encouraged you to set a limit on how much anxiety you allow yourself. And that could be an individual thing, but allow yourself, you know, a limit on how much you're going to allow to feel about something. And once you reach that point, turn it over to God.

[00:12:29] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Now listen, I know applying these principles isn't easy, but guess what happened to me? Along with my renewed focus on faith, it led to a remarkable turnaround in my life. It truly did. Not only did my anxiety decrease, but my business began to improve as well. I approach challenges with a clearer mind and a more positive attitude.

[00:12:51] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Listen, and my clients noticed it. That client said to me, Ralph, dude, what happened to you? You used to be kind of a negative guy. Yeah, but guess what? It was that mindset change. It was applying new principles. It was accepting those things. Now Mary, listen, you've asked me a question.

[00:13:09] Ralph Estep, Jr.: So I want to give you some actionable steps that you can take to start managing your anxiety through faith. That's the whole purpose of today's show. So, the first thing I'm going to tell you to do is start each day with scripture and prayer. Find verses that speak to God's faithfulness and that provision, write them down, and keep them where you see them throughout the day. Put them in front of you. Maybe it's an index card, or maybe you put it up on the wall?

[00:13:32] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I remember when I was going through a tough time of my life, I got some of these stickers that you put on the wall, and I put one over top of the doorway as you were leaving the house. And it reminded me of the scripture, reminded me that God's got this. The second thing I'm going to tell you. I talked about this on the show before, and that's practice gratitude. Because if you practice that gratitude, even in tough times, there's always something to be thankful for. And what does that do?

[00:13:57] Ralph Estep, Jr.: It shifts your focus from what's lacking to what you have. I talked about it before expressing gratitude; I highly recommend you do that. Because you can shift that focus from what you're lacking to what you have. Number three, serve others. Listen, when you're feeling anxious about yourself, you tend to become self-focused. It's all about us.

[00:14:18] Ralph Estep, Jr.: It's that pity party. I was having a pity party for myself at 3:00 AM. Worried about, what am I going to do? What am I? Because what, I was so self-focused. So, one of the things I'm going to encourage you to do is find ways to help others. Maybe that's through your church or through a community organization. Because guess what's going to happen? When you go find ways to help others, it's going to provide you with some perspective and some purpose, and you might have some gratitude because you're going to see that maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. Think about my case.

[00:14:47] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Like I had a business, it was still going. I had a roof over my head, a loving wife, and two kids. It gave me that perspective and that purpose. And that's what I encourage you to do. Number four thing. That is when the sun is a little bit outside the box here. And I'm going to encourage you to create a worry time.

[00:15:03] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Now I don't want it to be a long time. Set aside 15 minutes each day to focus on your worries, but here's the concrete thing I want you to do. You write them down, pray about them, and then mentally put them into God's hands. Whether that means shredding them, throwing them in a trash can, or whatever. But write them down, pray about them, and then mentally say, look, God, I am giving these things to you.

[00:15:27] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Here are my 15 minutes or worries for today. And I'm giving them to you. The fifth thing I had to do was this as well. Cause I remember this was the time when I was struggling with my physical health. You have to take care of your physical health. Now, listen, I'm a big guy. I'm still a big guy. But the truth is anxiety will often manifest itself physically. So when you're eating well, you're exercising, you're getting enough sleep, it will really help you. I'll be honest with you. My daily walk is what works for me. I walk around the farm in the morning and take the dog for a walk. It just helps me put things into perspective. I look at the cows. I look around the farm. I hear the birds. You know, it's kind of like they say, smell the roses.

[00:16:09] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Well, it works for me. And it's also helped me with my physical health. That 30-minute walk every morning gives me focus. It lets me understand. I think through things. Another thing I'm going to encourage you to do is seek support. We all need to realize that we cannot do this alone. Maybe that's a trusted friend, maybe it's your pastor from church, or maybe even you've gotten to the point of anxiety where you need to go see a counselor.

[00:16:32] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I'm going to encourage you to go see a Christian counselor. Remember this. Seeking help is a sign of strength. It's not a weakness. There was a time in my life when I thought, you know what? I'm never going to go to one of those counseling people. I don't need that. That means I'm weak. Since then, I've spent many hours in counseling. Because I came to realize that the process of seeking help is not about weakness.

[00:16:58] Ralph Estep, Jr.: It's about strengths; it's about finding those people to support me. Another thing I would encourage you to do is practice financial stewardship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ralph's always talking about building a budget. Yes. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Create a budget, build an emergency fund, and, more importantly, make wise financial decisions because, guess what? That will help you alleviate some of the financial stress that you're experiencing. It's going to cause you to have less anxiety.

[00:17:23] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I'm thinking about that time of 3:00 AM. I had a lot of bills. I had credit card debt. I had this, I had that car payments, all that stuff. Well, guess what? If I had been better at practicing financial stewardship, maybe I wouldn't have had as much anxiety. And in the end, you got to remember this. No matter what. Overcoming anxiety is a process. And you have to be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself, but keep your eyes focused on God.

[00:17:54] Ralph Estep, Jr.: As it says in Isaiah 41:10. "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Well, let's pray together. Heavenly Father, we come before you with anxiety and worries. They're weighing us down. We thank you as a God who cares about every single detail of our lives. Show us how to trust your provision and help us to understand that.

[00:18:28] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Help us to see your perfect plan for our lives. And when those times of anxiety threaten to overwhelm us, remind us of your faithfulness. Give us the strength to cast our cares upon you, knowing that you will sustain us. Help us find peace in your presence, in your wisdom, and in your word. We asked this in Jesus' name.

[00:18:54] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Amen. So, as we wrap up today, I want to recap what we've covered.

[00:18:57] Ralph Estep, Jr.: We've explored how faith can be a powerful tool in managing anxiety, especially when it comes to financial worries. That's why I do this show. We looked at practical steps from Dale Carnegie's book. And more importantly, as I said, that's not to be a replacement. The main focus is on God's word. Remember. Anxiety doesn't have to control your life. If you can put together a practical faith strategy to support yourself, you will find peace even in the midst of life's storms. And before I go, I want to remind you of something important.

[00:19:31] Ralph Estep, Jr.: If you're struggling with your finances. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by money management. The first thing is you don't have to face it alone. I'm here to help you. Just yesterday, I met with a young couple. Husband and wife, the wife had just started a hairdressing practice. And one thing she said to me, she says, Ralph, this, this creates so much anxiety for me. She had worked with another tax person, and they just weren't giving her what she needed: a scheduled time with me. We sat down. Together, we had a great conversation. I can see the joy that they have in this new marriage. He just got married this year, and I can see the purpose that she has in her business, and her husband's actually looking to start his own business. I was able to sit down with them and help them take the next step and share that moment with them. And you can do that, too.

[00:20:24] Ralph Estep, Jr.: You can schedule an appointment with me. Just go to askralph.com. Click on the banner ad that reads Book a call with Ralph. Now, I'm going to charge you a $150 consultation fee. But I'm going to work with you to improve your personal finances. Maybe you need help with your business finances. Maybe you're looking for ways to grow your business. My overall goal is to help you achieve all your financial goals and don't let stress hold you back any longer. Now, you might be worried about spending $150.

[00:20:52] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I get it's a lot of money. Let's talk about the couple I mentioned a few minutes ago; they pay me a $150 consultation fee, and guess what? In the very first 10 minutes of our meeting, I showed them a concrete way that they could save $6,000 just by making a small change. So here's my truth to you.

[00:21:14] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Here's what I'm going to say to you. If you don't get value from your consultation, I will completely refund your consultation fee. So why don't you schedule today? Let's create a personalized plan just for you. Now tune in tomorrow for our next episode, where we'll be discussing what are seven common traits of Americans who can never ever retire. I don't know whether that's a positive or a negative, but I want you to tune in tomorrow to hear where I go with that.

[00:21:39] Ralph Estep, Jr.: Something you don't want to miss. And remember this: this is our Sunday spiritual show. My passion is to help you achieve financial success. I hope you feel that. I hope you hear that in my voice.

[00:21:52] Ralph Estep, Jr.: I want you to live out your dreams. I want you to grow in faith. Because I know this, together, we can master your finances from that Christian perspective. You're not going to get that from somebody secular. They might be able to help you get your finances in order, but what is the purpose of it? That's what I bring to the table.

[00:22:11] Ralph Estep, Jr.: That Christian perspective. So, as I always say as we end this episode. I want you to stay financially savvy. More importantly, may God bless you, and may you reach out to him and put him first in your life.