Can you serve two masters: Finding God’s purpose in your professional life?

Ralph
00:00:00

Do you ever feel like you're caught in a never ending tug of war between your faith, your family, and your work? On the one hand, you're working hard to provide for your family, to grow your business, or to climb the ladder success. But on the other hand, there's this quiet voice in your heart. The one that whispers, am I doing this for the right reasons? Am I honoring God, or am I just chasing something else? You're not alone in that struggle. Maybe you've asked yourself, how do I balance it all? How do I honor God in my work without feeling like I'm neglecting my family or even my faith? It's a question that so many of us wrestle with, and it's one we're going to dive into today. Today's episode is inspired by a heartfelt message from Kristina, a working mom and a small business owner who's trying to do it all. And she's feeling like she's failing at everything. Kristina's story is powerful because it's so relatable. It's a reminder that when we try to serve two masters, we often end up losing sight of what matters most. So wherever you are today, whether you're driving to work, maybe you're folding laundry, or just because you're trying to catch your breath. I want you to stay with me. Because by the end of this episode, you're going to discover how to realign your work with God's purpose, how to set boundaries without guilt, and why there's no better time to start than right now.

Podcast Announcer
00:01:29

In a world where crushing debt keeps you trapped, where living paycheck to paycheck has become your new normal, and where the dream of retirement seems impossibly out of reach, there's hope. Join financial evangelist Ralph Estep Jr. A man who's walked through the fire of financial failure and emerged stronger on the other side.

Welcome to Ask Ralph, the show where real world experience meets biblical truth to break the bondage of financial despair.

Get ready to take control of your money, break free from the financial stress and align your resources with God's purpose for your life. This is Ask Ralph with Ralph Estep Jr.

Ralph
00:02:10

Now before I get started today, I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for each and every one of you who listens and watches the show. Your messages, your prayers and your support mean so much to me. They mean so much to me. You've allowed this space to become a community where we can explore what it means to master our finances,
we master our careers, and we master our lives from a Christian perspective. And that's not something I take for granted. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you as well. For wisdom, I'm praying for you for peace, and for clarity as you navigate life's challenges. So thank you for trusting me to be a part of your journey.

Well, let's start with Kristina's message. When she reached out to me, this is what she said. She said, "Ralph, I'm a working mom, and I also run a small business on the side. I feel like I'm constantly running around, trying to keep my household afloat and my business growing. I'm chasing money just to make ends meet, and it's exhausting. But at the same time, I feel guilty. I wonder if I'm putting money above my faith. How do I honor God in my work without feeling like I'm neglecting Him, or my family? What do I do?"
Well Kristina, first of all, thank you for your honesty. I can feel the weight of your words. You're trying to do it all. You're trying to run a business, you're trying to care for your family, and you're trying at the same time to honor God in the process. But instead of feeling fulfilled, you're feeling stretched so thin that it's hard to know if you're succeeding at anything.

And Kristina, listen, I want you to know this. You're not alone in this. So many of us have been in that same place, feeling like we're running on a treadmill that never stops. We carry the guilt, we carry the stress, and we carry the fear of not being enough. And it's in moments like these that we need to step back and ask ourselves this simple question. Who am I really serving?

So let's turn the scripture because God's word has a lot to say about this struggle. In the book of Matthew chapter 6, verse 24, Jesus says this. He said, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you'll be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Now at first you're thinking Ralph, this might feel like a heavy verse. Does this mean we have to choose between our faith and our work? Do we have to choose between serving God and providing for our families? The truth is, absolutely not. See it goes what Jesus is saying here is that our hearts can only have one ultimate focus. If we're chasing after money for chasing after success, or even just keeping up with life's demands, it's going to pull us away from God. But if we put Him first, if we trust Him as our provider, everything else starts to fall into place.

Let's look at another bit of scripture in Matthew 6:33. Jesus gives us this beautiful promise. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." And think about it, Kristina, this verse is a reminder that when God is at the center of your life, He takes care of the rest.
I was thinking about your question. And Kristina, your story reminded me of someone I know. And I'll just say his name is Blake. That's not his real name, but let's just say his name is Blake. And Blake owns a small construction business. And Blake was one of these guys, he started with this big dream.

He wanted to build homes that truly served families. He wanted to honor God through his work and provide for his family in the process. But what Blake noticed that as his business grew, so did the demands that he had. He had deadlines, client expectations, managing his crew. It all started piling up. And Blake found himself working 12, 14, 16 hour days, telling himself it was all for his family. I've been there. But the truth was his family was paying the price. His wife, Emily, felt like she was raising their two kids on her own. Their 10 year old son, Mason, started acting out in school because he missed his dad. And their 7 year old daughter, Lily, would sit by the window every night, just waiting for her dad to come home, only to be disappointed when he missed dinner again.

One night, Emily sat Blake down. With tears in her eyes, she said, "I love you, but we can't keep living like this. The kids need their dad, and I need my husband. If something doesn't change, we're going to lose you." And those words hit Blake like a ton of bricks. He shared this with me afterwards. He realized he was about to lose the very people he was working so hard for. So that night, Blake did something he hadn't done in years. He got on his knees and he prayed. And he asked God for wisdom, he asked God for clarity, and he asked God for the strength to make the changes he knew he needed to make. And slowly, he began to rebuild his life. But this time with God at the center.

So Kristina, here's what Blake did. He put God first. See, Blake started his mornings in prayer, asking God to guide his decisions. He let go of the belief that he had to figure everything out on his own. And that's what we all need to do. The next thing he did. He set boundaries. Blake turned down projects that didn't align with his values, even if they were lucrative. He made family dinners a priority, no matter what. It wasn't gonna have his daughter wondering if he was gonna make it home. And I'm going to talk about boundaries in just a few minutes.

And the third thing he did, he used his work to serve others. See, Blake partnered with nonprofits to build homes for families in need. And he used his business as a way to bless others. And I saw this from the outside. The transformation was incredible. And Blake's family, over time, it didn't happen overnight,

began to heal. He reconnected with his wife and he reconnected with his kids. And his business? Let me just tell you. It didn't just survive. It thrived. Kristina, one of the most important things Blake did was set boundaries. And this is something I want to talk about deeply because it's where so many people struggle. Let me ask you. Kristina, how do you feel about saying "no" to something? If you're like most people, it probably makes you feel guilty. You worry about disappointing others, you worry about letting people down or even missing out on opportunities. But here's the truth. Boundaries are not selfish. Let me say that again. Boundaries are not selfish.

They are biblical. Jesus himself modeled boundaries in His ministry. In Luke chapter 5, verses 15 and 16, we see that Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray, even when crowds of people were looking for Him. And in Mark chapter 1, verses 35 to 38, when His disciples told Him, "Everyone is looking for you!" Jesus didn't rush back to meet their expectations. Instead, he stayed focused on His mission.

So if Jesus can set boundaries, so can you. And you can do it without guilt, knowing that you're following His example. So let's ask the question, "Why do we feel guilty about boundaries?" I think we need to start here because guilt is often the biggest hurdle when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. Why do we feel this way? Simple answer is we want to please everyone. As Christians, we're called to serve others, and sometimes we confuse that service with overextending ourselves. We think if we say "no" to someone or something, we're letting them down or even worse, we're failing to live out God's commands to love others.

We tie it to our worth. We tie our worth to performance. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking, if I just do more, I'll be a better parent, I'll be a better worker, I'll be a better spouse, or I'll even be a better Christian. But when we constantly say "yes" to everything, we're often saying "no" to the things that matter the most.

And we confuse busyness with productivity. Truth is in today's culture, being busy is often seen as a badge of honor and wear it on our chest. We feel guilty about slowing down, resting, or saying "no" because we've been conditioned to think that doing more equals being more valuable. But here's the truth. Like I said a few minutes ago, boundaries are not selfish. And again, I said this a few minutes ago as well. In fact, they are biblical. Boundaries are biblical. Setting boundaries allows you to protect what God has entrusted to you. Your time, your family, your health, and most importantly, your spiritual relationship with him. So let's take a little bit of time and look at the biblical perspective on boundaries. Let's look at how Jesus modeled these boundaries in His own ministry.

Jesus said "no" when necessary. In the book of Luke 5, 15 and 16, we see that people were constantly seeking Jesus. They wanted him to heal, they wanted him to teach, they wanted him to lead. But what did he do? Many times, he often withdrew to quiet places to pray.

"Yet the news about Him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."
Think about this, even Jesus, who had more responsibility than any of us could even imagine, knew the importance of stepping away. He prioritized His relationship with the Father over the demands of people around Him. He sets an example. And Jesus focused on His purpose. In the book of Mark chapter 1, 35 and 38, after a busy day of healing and teaching, Jesus went off to pray. His disciples came looking for Him, saying "Everyone is looking for you." But as I said a few minutes ago, Jesus didn't rush back to meet their expectations. Instead, He said, "Let us go somewhere else. To the nearby villages, so I can preach there also. This is why I have come."

See, because Jesus wasn't distracted by the demands of others. He stayed focused on his God given mission, even when it meant saying "no" to good things. If Jesus set boundaries, Kristina, you can too. And you can do it without guilt. You can do it with knowing that you're following His example.

So let me get this some practical steps to help you set those boundaries without feeling guilty. These are five steps to help you establish boundaries in a way that honors God, serves others, and still gives you peace of mind.
Number one thing.

Understand your priorities. Before you can set boundaries, you need to know what matters most. Ask yourself: What has God called me to in this season of life? What does God call me to in this season? What are my top priorities? Is it faith? Is it family? Is it health? Is it work? And then ask yourself, am I investing my time and energy in the things that are aligned with those priorities? For example, real simple example. If your family is a priority but you're constantly missing dinner because of work, it's time to reevaluate. Saying "no" to late meetings or extra projects isn't being selfish. It's honoring what God has placed as most important in your life.

It's what is the central purpose. Second thing. Pray for wisdom and strength. We often feel guilty about boundaries because we're afraid we'll disappoint people. But when you seek God's wisdom, you start there, He will guide you in setting boundaries that honor Him and still bless other people. See, in the book of James chapter 1, verse 5, it says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

So I encourage you pray for clarity about what to say "yes" to and what to say "no" to. Trust that God will give you the courage to follow through.
And number three.

Communicate your boundaries clearly and kindly. So when you set a boundary, it's absolutely crucial to communicate in a way that is both firm and loving. Here's an example of that. Instead of saying, "I can't help with that because I'm too busy." A lot of people would say that. I can't help with that because I'm too busy.

Try this instead. "I'd love to help, but I've committed to spending more time with my family in the evenings. Thank you for understanding that." You notice the difference? You're not apologizing for your boundary. You don't have to apologize for those. You're simply explaining it honestly and graciously. Look at the book of Proverbs 15 verse 1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
The fourth thing I'm gonna encourage you to do, accept that you can't please everyone. And this is a hard truth and some of us battle with this. But it's one we all need to hear. You're not called to make everyone happy.

Galatians chapter 1, verse 10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." That is bold. When you say "no" to something, people might be disappointed. Guess what? That's okay. Because your worth isn't tied to their approval. It's tied to God's purpose for your life. Number five. Remember that rest.

Rest, true rest is Godly. One of the biggest reasons we feel guilty about boundaries is because we've forgotten the importance of rest. We're in a culture that's moving too fast. In the book of Genesis chapter 2, verses 2 and 3, God Himself rested on the seventh day. If the Creator of the universe took time to rest, why do we think we're exempt from that need to rest?

Because a lot of people have this false belief that they think resting is being lazy. It's not. Resting isn't being lazy. It's being obedient. It's a way of saying, God, I trust you. Yeah, I got you. God. You take care of what I can't.

So let's look at some examples of healthy boundaries, and these are just a few practical boundaries you can implement. Let's start with work boundaries. A lot of people get hung up on this one. Here's what you need to do. Commit to specific work hours and stick to them. For example, maybe you make a statement like this.

"I won't check emails after 6:00 PM." Maybe say "no" to projects or clients that conflict with your values or take away time from your family. Just that is the business purpose there. That's the business piece. Let's talk about some family boundaries. Schedule regular family time, like dinner or a weekly game night, and protect it fiercely. Stand for that. Don't let anything get in the way of that. While I'm here. I encourage you this. Limit that screen time or those distractions during family times to be fully present with your kids. I didn't do a good job of that. I think I've talked about that on the show before. I wasn't great about that. And the final boundary. Faith boundaries. You got to set aside time each morning or evening for prayer and scripture and listen, even if it's just 15 minutes. It can really be that small.

I start every day like that. Say "no" to activities that interfere with your time. If it's going to interfere with worship or it's going to interfere with that church community stuff. So you might be asking the next logical question. Oh, Ralph, how do we go about overcoming this guilt?

And see, the key to overcoming guilt is to trust that God honors your obedience. And He does see, when you set boundaries, you're not being selfish, you're being faithful. You're choosing to steward your time, you're choosing to steward your energy, and choosing to steward those relationships in a way that honors God and serve the people He's entrusted to you. Because just like He's entrusted stuff to you, He's entrusted people to you.

And here's the beautiful thing. When you set healthy boundaries, you're actually able to give more. You give more to your family because you're present. Not just physically present, you're mentally present. You give more to your work because you're focused. You're focused on your work and you give more to God because you're living in alignment with his purpose and we all need to do that.

We all need to live in alignment with His purpose. So Kristina and anyone else who's listening, I want you to remember this. Setting boundaries isn't about shutting people out. It has nothing to do with that. People may feel that way. That's on them. Setting boundaries is about making space for what matters the most. And here's the truth.
You don't have to do it all. You just have to be faithful to what God has called you to do.
And when you put Him first, when you truly put Him first, have faith knowing that He will take care of the rest. So I encourage you to go ahead and set those boundaries. Say "no" when you need to, without guilt, and trust that God will bless your obedience. As Jesus said in Matthew chapter 11, verse 28, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

So I encourage you rest in Him and let him guide your steps. So, let me take a moment now. I want to pray for you, Kristina, and for anyone else who might be feeling the same way. Heavenly Father, I thank you for Kristina and for her honesty in sharing her struggles. Lord, we ask that You would give her clarity and peace as she seeks to honor You in her work, as she seeks to honor You and her family, and she seeks to honor You in her entire life. For everyone listening today, I pray that You would help them to set boundaries that reflect Your priorities. Lord, give them the wisdom to say no to the things that distract them from their relationship with You and the courage. Yes.

I said the courage, the courage to say yes to the things that bring You glory. Remind us Lord, that we don't have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. You are our provider, You are our strength, and You are our guide. We trust You with our work Lord. We trust You with our families, and we trust You with our future. And I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

So now I want to share three powerful reflection questions based on today's episode, because I want you to dig deeper into aligning your work, your faith, and your priorities. Ask yourself these questions. Number one. What are the "masters" in your life that compete with God for your attention and devotion? What are those masters and how can you intentionally shift your focus to seek His kingdom first in your daily decisions? Second question. What areas of your life, your work, your family, or your personal time, might need some clear boundaries? And how can we set those boundaries? And how can setting those boundaries help you honor God and protect what He has entrusted to you? And the third reflection question.
Ask yourself this question. Are there specific moments where you've felt God calling you to slow down and say "no," or trust Him more deeply? You got to listen for that though. You gotta be quiet and still. So how can you take one step today? I mean right now to realign with His purpose for your life? So I want to encourage you, take some time to pray over these questions and journal your thoughts. Write them down. Let them guide you towards a life that reflects God's priorities and His peace.

Well Kristina, I sure hope this conversation has given you hope and clarity. And for everyone else listening, don't wait to take action. If you're feeling overwhelmed, take one small step today to realign your work with God's purpose. Just one step. And don't forget to join me tomorrow for another important episode. We're going to be talking about, are you making these 10 smart moves to boost your retirement savings in 2025?

You don't want to miss it. It's going to be packed with practical advice to help you plan for a secure future while keeping God at the center of that. And as always, if you want to go deeper, you can check out my blog. That's at askralphpodcast.com/blog. I write one of those every day and I share additional tips and scripture to help you live out your faith in every area of your life. And I'm going to ask you for one more thing.
If you've been blessed by this show, consider supporting us. You can go to askralphpodcast.com/support. Remember this. God doesn't just want to bless your finances. He wants to bless your life. So stay financially savvy and may God bless you abundantly as you serve in His purposes.

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00:24:37

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