Ridiculous Business Expenses

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Ralph: Hey folks, have you ever tempted to fudge a few numbers on your taxes?

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Tried claiming those concert tickets or that tropical vacation as a business expense.

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Well, you're not alone.

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The links.

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Some people will go to try to Dodge taxes is downright shocking.

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Well, join us today on this wacky Wednesday, as we explore some of the more unusual and ridiculous business expenses.

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Welcome back to the show on this wacky Wednesday, where we try to bring a little humor to our daily podcast.

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I'm excited to dive into today's topic with you.

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I'm recording this from the farm.

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Literally I'm a black Angus, cow farmer.

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A lot of people don't know that about me.

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So on my way, over to my office studio today, I got a chance to say hello to the cows this morning and the herd is doing great.

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So today we're diving into the wonderful world of ridiculous and unethical tax deductions.

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Get ready for some jaw dropping stories, some practical tips and a good dose of humor along the way as always, I'm going to bring ways for you to make these things work, even if they seem absolutely outrageous.

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Listen before I get too deep.

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Don't forget to subscribe to the show.

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And join our email list.

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You can do that at askralphpodcast.com.

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So you don't miss tomorrow show when we're going to discuss correcting tax filing errors.

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That's right.

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Folks.

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When you make an error or find the error on your tax return, now, what.

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We're going to talk about on tomorrow's show.

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Now I don't need to tell you that tax fraud is illegal and immoral.

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It's the kind of thing that a land you in jail, like Al Capone.

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As Christians we're called to live with integrity in everything we do.

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Including how we handle our money.

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And how we file our taxes.

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Now, a lot of people don't want to hear that.

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But as a Christian, you have an obligation to not only be a good steward.

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But you've got to live with integrity.

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But let's be real.

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The temptation is there folks?

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When tax reason rolls around, we all want to lower our tax bill as much as possible.

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That's what I do for a living.

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I try to find ways for people to legally reduce their tax burden.

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But every now and then someone gets a little too creative with those business expense deductions.

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The IRS has truly seen it all over the years.

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From pet food to lingerie prostitutes to haircuts.

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I know this is a Christian show, so we'll keep it nice and smooth.

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People have tried the deducting, literally anything you could imagine.

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And auditors have had a field day sharing the most outrageous examples they've come across.

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So today we're going to have some fun, little humor looking at real life.

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Examples of ridiculous tax deductions.

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We're going to talk about why they don't work and then explore some ethical strategies you can use to maximize your legitimate.

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And legal business expenses.

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A lot of people ask me that question, is tax evasion illegal?

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Yes.

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Tax evasion is illegal.

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Tax avoidance is absolutely legal.

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All right.

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Let's dive into one of the, my favorite examples.

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This is the businessman who tried to write off his pectoral implants.

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Yes.

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You heard that, right.

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This guy claimed they were for business purposes to help him connect with his clients.

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I'm not sure what kind of clients he was trying to connect with.

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Needless to say the IRS did not buy his argument.

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I guess they didn't fall for the old pectoral implants.

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Here's some other crazy tax deductions people have attempted.

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Pet food.

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Multiple people have tried claiming fluffy and Fido's kibble as a business expense.

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I guess they were guard dogs.

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It doesn't matter how much they brighten your day at the office.

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Your furry friends are not dependents.

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They're not employees.

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Folks.

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You cannot deduct their pet food.

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How about lingerie?

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How could those Lacy unmentionables possibly we consider business attire.

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One woman found out the hard way.

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That necessary clothing expenses don't include anything quite that risque.

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I had a client a few years back, that was a real estate agent.

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She came in to get her taxes done.

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And she said, Ralph, I bought a whole new wardrobe this year.

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I spent about $5,000.

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I said, well, guess what, that's not going to be a tax deduction.

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She abruptly grabbed her stuff and stormed out saying that what kind of tax person are you.

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I said, I'm the kind of keeps people out of jail.

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How about a Disney world family vacation.

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As magical as it may be.

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Nope.

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Still not a business trip.

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That networking had happened with the frozen characters.

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Apparently wasn't persuasive enough to the IRS.

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It might've been a magic kingdom, but it definitely wasn't a magic deduction.

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How about swimming pool and landscape maintenance.

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While a pool could potentially be argued as an asset for certain businesses.

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For most, it's considered a personal expense.

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Now, if you're running A spa or you're running some kind of place where a pool, like a hotel or a motel, maybe a pool.

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Is a reasonable business deduction, but it doesn't make sense.

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In this case, and one woman who installed a pool, try calling it a therapeutic massage station for her clients.

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Well, the IRS didn't want to take part in that therapeutic massage session.

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Now, obviously these examples are extreme and they're funny and they're outrageous.

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But the illustrate an important point.

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And that's drawing the line between personal and business expenses.

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Isn't always straightforward.

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In fact, we're going to talk about that in an upcoming show, why it's so important to maintain a separation between your personal and business expenses.

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But people can get very creative with their accounting.

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Trust me.

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I see this every day and some of the things I see does make me laugh.

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So where exactly is that line drawn?

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Let's be practical.

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What can you legitimately claim as a business expense?

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And here's what the key IRS criteria are.

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Number one.

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The expense must be ordinary and necessary for your business.

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This means it's common practice in your particular industry and directly tied to generating business income.

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one of the things IRS agents will do.

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Is they'll look around your industry.

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And see, is that a routine expense?

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I'll give you a great example.

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Let's say you're a plumber.

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Well, I would expect if you're a plumber, you're going to buy tools.

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I expect if you're a plumber, you're going to buy pipe and glue.

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and things like that.

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Those are common business expenses.

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If all of a sudden, you're buying.

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Pectoral implants for your employees.

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So they look good when they're going to Ms.

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Jean's house for a plumbing job.

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I don't think that's going to pass the sniff test.

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Number two.

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You need adequate documentation.

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I say this to clients, continually receipts, receipts, receipts.

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So I'm going to say it again.

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Receipts, invoices.

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There's no room for guesstimating or ballparking figures.

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I did a podcast a few weeks ago on about ways to avoid getting audited.

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One of the best ways to get audited.

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If you just ballpark thing and just throw round numbers on there, they needed documentation.

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And while I'm there, they want receipts.

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You can't just say, well, there's a copy of the check.

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They want to see the receipt that backs that up so they can see exactly what you bought.

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Number three.

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Business use must exceed personal use, for example.

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You can deduct the business percentage of your cell phone bill based on its usage.

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I have clients come in and say, listen, I'm going to go ahead and pick up my cell phone bill is a business expense.

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And I said, okay, that sounds good.

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I say to them, how many people are on the line?

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well there's six.

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Okay.

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Are all six of those employees?

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Well, no, my wife is on the plan.

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My two kids are on a plane and my mom's on the plan.

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Watch out.

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That's not all business use.

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And that doesn't mean you can't take a percentage of that.

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You have to be very careful.

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And number four.

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And this is my favorite.

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It needs to pass the smell test.

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The expense has to be reasonably related to your business activities.

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Not just remotely connected or tangentially related in some obscure way.

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the thing I tell clients, Is that.

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Prove it to your grandmother.

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I think this is a great way to think about it, will you lie to your grandmother now?

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That's said some people lack character, so maybe they would lie to their grandmother, but most people would say.

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Yeah.

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You know what Ralph.

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My grandmother's not going to buy it.

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So let's talk through some common gray areas when it comes to business expenses.

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First one that.

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Happens constantly as a home office.

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Here's the deal folks.

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You can deduct a portion of utilities, rent, repairs.

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If you have a space use exclusively for business purposes.

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And you noticed I used the word exclusively.

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That means exclusively.

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If you have, for example, a small business.

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Consulting business.

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And let's say you have a three-bedroom home.

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And in that three bedroom home, you use one of those bedrooms exclusively for an office.

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Well, then the IRS would make the argument or you will be able to make the argument to the IRS.

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That you will be able to take a percentage based on the square footage of that room versus the square footage of the entire house.

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But you got to get proof.

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If it's also a bedroom, when your grandchildren come over or when your children come back home.

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And that may not be exclusive use.

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How about let's talk about business travel.

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This is a common one.

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The IRS looks for.

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You got to make sure it's primarily for a business purpose.

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Not personal enjoyment and document the agenda listen folks.

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This is an area where you can get yourself into trouble.

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But it's an, also an area where if you're smart, you will keep yourself out of hot water.

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Conference people aren't stupid.

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They plan these conferences in beautiful locations.

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Why did they do that?

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Well, they want to entice you to come to the conference.

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If you're going to go to the conference, that's a legitimate business expense.

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Let's say, for example, they're going to have a conference in Miami.

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And that conference is a five day conference.

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Well, I think it's very reasonable that the primary reason for going to Miami to attend that conference, but you better, make sure.

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That you've documented the conference dates where you were.

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It take some written notes about the agendas that happen.

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Now if you happen to stay a day or two extra, because the flights back home or the flights going down or cheaper.

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I think that's primarily for business purposes.

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So that one I think is okay.

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But if you decide next week, Hey, you know, we're going to take a trip this summer to Hawaii.

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And while we're there, I'm going to buy a book on how to make my business stronger.

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I'm going to read it while I'm sitting by the pool.

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I think that's not going to pass the grandmom or the sniff test.

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Let's talk about business meals.

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These should directly relate to our work activity.

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Not just because you happen to discuss work over dinner.

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Now, this one is a cracks me up every time.

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I will have clients come in, husband and wife own a business.

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And they said, well, Ralph, we got a lot of business expenses this year, because every Friday night on date night, we talked about business.

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I said, well, folks, I don't know if that's such a good plan, you know, keep receipts and note who you met with.

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If it's just the two of you, I think you're going to run into problems.

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Let's talk about business vehicle use.

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This one is very important.

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You've got to track your mileage for drives specifically taken for business purposes.

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Commuting miles don't count.

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Clients ask me this.

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Hey Ralph, do we really have to have a mileage log?

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The answer is yes.

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That's what the IRS code says.

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Basically what the IRS code tells you is you need to put the date.

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You need to put the starting odometer reading.

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You need to put the ending odometer reading.

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You need to put the reason for the trip and then the total mileage.

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That's what the IRS is looking for.

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If you get audited, those are the receipts they're going to want to see.

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Let's talk about education.

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Education needs to directly tie to maintaining or improving skills for your current job.

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Not to prepare you for a future career change.

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In all of this, the bottom line is tracking.

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Documenting and proving business purposes.

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Just don't throw everything into one big deduction category.

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And I have clients that do this.

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They'll come in.

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a two a day or two before the filing deadline and say, Ralph.

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I am already.

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I got my business receipts for you, hoping up there, paper, and it says business sales, 125,000 business expenses.

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135,000.

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Now Ralph get my tax return done.

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And I'd say to them whole Nelly, wait a second.

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You're going to have to break this down.

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You got to make sure that your records are Bulletproof.

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The thing I say to clients is make sure your records are ready to be audited.

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On the day you sign that tax return for filing.

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Cause that's basically the IRS says is the day you file your return.

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The expectation is that you have all of your receipts in order, and you're ready to defend an audit that same day.

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And if there's any question on whether something is primarily personal or business, You should really err, on the side of being cautious.

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don't deduct those concert tickets.

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You might schmooze as a client don't claim, a hundred percent of your cell phone bill.

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If you chat with your mom on it daily.

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When in doubt.

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Leave it out.

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You'll sleep better at night.

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You won't end up on a YouTube compilation of insane audit stories or on the Ask Ralph podcasts talking about.

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Ridiculous business expenses.

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Now, before we wrap up, I want to remind all of our listeners to visit our podcast page.

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That's at askralphpodcast.com.

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There you can leave us a review, share your thoughts, or even send us a message with questions for future episodes.

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I would love to hear from my listeners.

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Tell us about things you'd like for us to cover in future episodes.

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And guess what?

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We'll do that.

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And while you're there, make sure you join our email list to enter into our weekly $25 Amazon gift card drawing.

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We've already had a bunch of people enter and we're getting ready to make our second drawing.

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So don't miss out on that.

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You can also schedule a consultation if you've got some business expenses.

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Do you want to say, Hey Ralph, you know, do these pass the sniff test or the grandma test?

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My grandmother's passed away, but I think we can figure it out between the two of us.

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Well, that wraps up today's episode on ridiculous business expense and tax deductions.

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To recap.

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We looked at some shockingly crazy examples of expenses.

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People have tried to claim, went through the IRS criteria on what counts as a legitimate business expense, and even discussed how to ethically maximize your deductions.

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Remember I said, ethically.

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It's okay to minimize your taxes.

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It's not okay to commit.

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Tax evasion.

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Filing your taxes doesn't have to be stressful or shady.

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Just focus on a few things.

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Focus on accuracy.

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Transparency and integrity.

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Seek wise counsel from a trusted tax advisor like myself.

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If you need guidance and avoid the temptation to cut corners.

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Remind yourself.

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God is always watching.

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If this topic was interesting or helpful, please visit askralphpodcast.com and check out more episodes we have over 300 episodes out there of all kinds of useful.

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Information that you can put into action to improve your financials or improve your business or improve yourself as a Christian person.

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And remember, I always end with this.

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Stay financially savvy.

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And may God bless you in your journey.